I have a question for you. How often do you give emotional discounts? What I mean by an emotional discount is times when you have done or said something that knocks your self esteem, dilutes your empowerment or knocks your confidence. You may be placating, be befriending, empowering or supporting someone else but you have to consider your self worth too. Place a high value upon yourself and your self esteem will blossom.
1. Don’t Change for People
One way you can realize your self worth is to stop trying to change your personality depending on the people that you are with at the time. You will never truly be able to embrace your true self if you don’t let that true self out. The more you spend time cultivating your real personality rather than a fake one, the more you will realize that your real self is a person that deserves to be loved.
2. Don’t Apologize for Nothing
Something that seems to be a trend among self deprecating and low confidence people is that they are constantly saying sorry for things that one, are not their fault, or two, do not warrant an apology in the first place. Try to be a little bit more assertive and realize that you do not have to say sorry when somebody bumps in to you; it was their fault after all!
3. Don’t under Value Yourself
It’s very easy to be too self-deprecating when it comes to showing off talents and skills, especially for somebody with low self-confidence. Try to make a conscious effort to volunteer for tasks that you know you will be good at, or don’t lose at a game of scrabble just to make somebody else feel better. If you got it, flaunt it!
4. Be Strong in Your Convictions
Shy and worthless feeling people often tend to get roped along in to doing things that they do not want to do. Learning to say ‘no’ can be a hard thing for somebody who doesn’t want confrontation, but once you’ve stood your ground on a couple of things, your feeling of self worth will begin to grow. Feeling comfortable in your decision making and thinking of yourself is really important.
5. Know when to Cut Your Losses
If you are the kind of person that will desperately try everything to fix a broken relationship even when everybody else can see that the damage is irreparable, then it might be time to start knowing when to cut your losses and move on. Nothing says ‘I have embraced my self worth’ like finally ending a relationship that was bad for you emotionally. You are worth so much more than just the man you might be with.
6. Have Clear Boundaries
Much like the point about being able to say ‘no’, it is important that you have some clear personal boundaries that other people should know in order to treat and respect you in the way that you want. Having a sense of when these boundaries are crossed is an indicator that you are growing a much better understanding of your self worth. You ain’t no pushover!
7. Don’t Let Your Feelings Be Ignored
Even if you are shy, it’s super important that you make sure your feelings are taken in to account when a big decision is made in your family, in your relationship or in your friendship group. It should not only be the loud people that get heard. You may be quiet but your feelings of self worth rely on you being listened to and getting your point across, no matter how big or small.
8. PURSUE ALL of YOUR GOALS
Don't allow anyone to tell you that you can or can't pursue your dreams. If you have a burning passion to be a doctor, a dancer, a photographer, or a chef - do it. You were born with just as much potential as anyone else who walks the Earth.
9. Don't Settle for Anything Less than the Best
Don't date the guy that isn't perfect for you, don't buy that dress if you don't feel like a million bucks in it, don't be anyone's second best - because you ARE the best.
10. Try New Hobbies, You'll Surprise Yourself at How Good You Are
Every single person has a talent or talents. But how are we supposed to realise these talents if we don't try new things? Pick up that guitar that's collecting dust and try learn? Start a blog and showcase your writing, art, or knowledge. Try a cooking class. You never know what you're capable of until you try.
11. Have a "me" Day Once a Month
Take one day a month to spoil yourself. This could be going to the cinema, getting your nails done, having a fantastic meal with a friend, or buying something small. Take care of yourself because you're really worth it.
12. GET THOSE ENDORPHINS PUMPING by DOING EXERCISE
There is nothing more satisfying than getting that adrenaline and endorphin rush during and after exercise. Endorphins are the "happy" chemicals that make us feel happy, confident, and satisfied.
13. Cut out the Negative People in Your Life
If you have someone in your life that is continuously making you feel bad about yourself, or loves to talk negatively all of the time - cut them out of your life. You don't need that negative energy rubbing off on you.
14. Put Yourself out There in the Dating Scene
You are stunning, beautiful, and amazing - any guy would be lucky to have you in his life. Put yourself out there a bit and flaunt what you've got.
15. DON'T BE AFRAID to TAKE a RISK
If you've dreamed of visiting Europe after school but you're afraid to go alone - do it anyway. If you've always wanted to start your own business - do it! Take a risk because, with hard work, everything pays off.
You don’t need to be brash or over-confident to embrace your self worth. Confidence grows and becomes comfortable and you’ll only give emotional discounts when necessary.
Do you think this is something you need to work on more?