I have a question for you. How often do you give emotional discounts? What I mean by an emotional discount is times when you have done or said something that knocks your self esteem, dilutes your empowerment or knocks your confidence. You may be placating, be befriending, empowering or supporting someone else but you have to consider your self worth too. Place a high value upon yourself and your self esteem will blossom.
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1. Don’t Change for People
One way you can realize your self worth is to stop trying to change your personality depending on the people that you are with at the time. You will never truly be able to embrace your true self if you don’t let that true self out. The more you spend time cultivating your real personality rather than a fake one, the more you will realize that your real self is a person that deserves to be loved.
2. Don’t Apologize for Nothing
Something that seems to be a trend among self deprecating and low confidence people is that they are constantly saying sorry for things that one, are not their fault, or two, do not warrant an apology in the first place. Try to be a little bit more assertive and realize that you do not have to say sorry when somebody bumps in to you; it was their fault after all!
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3. Don’t under Value Yourself
It’s very easy to be too self-deprecating when it comes to showing off talents and skills, especially for somebody with low self-confidence. Try to make a conscious effort to volunteer for tasks that you know you will be good at, or don’t lose at a game of scrabble just to make somebody else feel better. If you got it, flaunt it!
4. Be Strong in Your Convictions
Shy and worthless feeling people often tend to get roped along in to doing things that they do not want to do. Learning to say ‘no’ can be a hard thing for somebody who doesn’t want confrontation, but once you’ve stood your ground on a couple of things, your feeling of self worth will begin to grow. Feeling comfortable in your decision making and thinking of yourself is really important.
5. Know when to Cut Your Losses
If you are the kind of person that will desperately try everything to fix a broken relationship even when everybody else can see that the damage is irreparable, then it might be time to start knowing when to cut your losses and move on. Nothing says ‘I have embraced my self worth’ like finally ending a relationship that was bad for you emotionally. You are worth so much more than just the man you might be with.
6. Have Clear Boundaries
Much like the point about being able to say ‘no’, it is important that you have some clear personal boundaries that other people should know in order to treat and respect you in the way that you want. Having a sense of when these boundaries are crossed is an indicator that you are growing a much better understanding of your self worth. You ain’t no pushover!
7. Don’t Let Your Feelings Be Ignored
Even if you are shy, it’s super important that you make sure your feelings are taken in to account when a big decision is made in your family, in your relationship or in your friendship group. It should not only be the loud people that get heard. You may be quiet but your feelings of self worth rely on you being listened to and getting your point across, no matter how big or small.
8. PURSUE ALL of YOUR GOALS
Don't allow anyone to tell you that you can or can't pursue your dreams. If you have a burning passion to be a doctor, a dancer, a photographer, or a chef - do it. You were born with just as much potential as anyone else who walks the Earth.
9. Don't Settle for Anything Less than the Best
Don't date the guy that isn't perfect for you, don't buy that dress if you don't feel like a million bucks in it, don't be anyone's second best - because you ARE the best.
10. Try New Hobbies, You'll Surprise Yourself at How Good You Are
Every single person has a talent or talents. But how are we supposed to realise these talents if we don't try new things? Pick up that guitar that's collecting dust and try learn? Start a blog and showcase your writing, art, or knowledge. Try a cooking class. You never know what you're capable of until you try.
11. Have a "me" Day Once a Month
Take one day a month to spoil yourself. This could be going to the cinema, getting your nails done, having a fantastic meal with a friend, or buying something small. Take care of yourself because you're really worth it.
12. GET THOSE ENDORPHINS PUMPING by DOING EXERCISE
There is nothing more satisfying than getting that adrenaline and endorphin rush during and after exercise. Endorphins are the "happy" chemicals that make us feel happy, confident, and satisfied.
13. Cut out the Negative People in Your Life
If you have someone in your life that is continuously making you feel bad about yourself, or loves to talk negatively all of the time - cut them out of your life. You don't need that negative energy rubbing off on you.
14. Put Yourself out There in the Dating Scene
You are stunning, beautiful, and amazing - any guy would be lucky to have you in his life. Put yourself out there a bit and flaunt what you've got.
15. DON'T BE AFRAID to TAKE a RISK
If you've dreamed of visiting Europe after school but you're afraid to go alone - do it anyway. If you've always wanted to start your own business - do it! Take a risk because, with hard work, everything pays off.
You don’t need to be brash or over-confident to embrace your self worth. Confidence grows and becomes comfortable and you’ll only give emotional discounts when necessary.
Do you think this is something you need to work on more?
Comments
Melissa: Very well said. I really enjoyed this. As women we all need to think like this.
shanianawaz: I love how this was written in such an encouraging way.
Haise: Love it, this is the boost I needed to help me get out of this bad relationship I am in. 🙏
emalyn: Amwn to that very well said
Jodelle: When ur confidence in men pretty much vanished from bad relationships. In this last month when u really need compassion & care from those around u but people have shown me their true colors... Thankfully! so my confidence in certain friends who never take time for u yet u go above & beyond for them. I feel hurt & let down by many but I'm actually lucky cause those type of people can poison ur whole life if u keep them around, so now I'm left with the cream of the crop, the pure hearted, the couture type who are individually & so perfectly designed for me & take the time, effort,thought for one another. Pretty much the same heart space as me . Although at this present my confidence is at a all time low I know I will be ok I know the girl I am inside & I know my heart & those who actually take the time & especially patience with me to nurture, care & try to understand my crazy sense of humor & put up with all the everything that comes along with it then it could be the most amazing experiences or u'd rather shoot urself kinda ride 🔫🔫🔫 so choose wisely 😛😎😈👼🏼💥 black or white! Live or Die. Love or hate! All or nothing. Either way I have grown & learnt about myself in leaps & bounds in the last few months. not to give too much to that same person again & try not to give ur heart away too quickly they are mostly wives in sheep clothing 🐍 don't worry though cause anything people do to hurt or betray u karma is right around the corner. So let them carry on & u keep being sweet and kind to people & give ur everything until the home run or otherwise just straight out run & run for ur life but wherever u run just run away with people who really do love and value u for u! A friend will be bailing u out of jail a soul mate will be sitting next to u in jail laughing, crying, screaming & fighting, hugging & doing it all again next week & takes the time to listen, laugh learn but most of all loves u inside & out. As for confidence in men I have none but I hope there is a man out there who actually gets me & can have some patience with me but please please not another selfish one! To take care of one another would love to take during the good, the bad & especially when things get ugly. As for confidence in myself...thats in the minus area atm but I'll get that back when I am walking in a straight line & making wise decisions for a clean, healthy & purposeful, exciting life. Cause in life there are many seasons & with me there are lots of little layers and I am exactly who I am today unconfident & starting from scratch all over again, building a solid foundation so I can become the best person I can be so I can add value to those around me all in time when I get it together. Regardless of anything u can NEVER really have compete confidence in anything except GOD. Our father in heaven, our savior, healer, conquer, protector, teacher our best friend. Our mind, body, people, decisions, choices, behaviors & life lets us down & that is why we need to hold onto Jesus love and the kingdom in heaven & trust completely that God has a almighty plan for ur life beyond what u or I could ever even imagine. So pray, read his word, surround urself with God fearing people, serve ur life for his kingdom, LISTEN, LOOK & LEARN & OBEY cause he will guide u to the end with confidence :)))) Warning!!!! The closer u get to God, The more the devil sucks u back. Be strong. Be brave. Be preserving. Be courage. Be a leader. Because the lord ur God has u & u will be seated at the right hand side - not in front or behind of his thrown in heaven. And guess what.... GOD never gives up on u like people or urself. So start putting confidence in him instead of people and just obey his commands he will guide u. And he won't let u down hunny bunny😘
Phia: This is so true, I definitely have to work on cutting my losses.
prakriti: good tips, will try to get in my life. people tend to take u very loosely
Katrina: I am on these process right now, trying to re-boost my self confidence by knowing how worthy I am and by being me.
karen: This is,sometbing that I needed
Nina: I like the that don't be the second best , but be the best ....
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