By Lauren • 23 Comments
As women we face plenty of life and everyday challenges and sometimes we need to be tough – tougher than maybe we’d like. And then, there are those of us who want to be Queen Bee and cultivate badassness (is that a word?) … just because. Here’s how you can tame your inner goddess and set your warrior queen free. (Not for the fainthearted!)
You know that old saying, “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than get permission?” Well, the lady who said that, U.S. Naval officer Grace Hopper, wrote the book on how to be a badass. Badass girls don’t sit around waiting to be told it's okay; they act on their own intelligence and ambition. Badass women go for it - that job they’ve always dreamed of, checking items off the bucket list, buying a house, adopting a baby on their own - whatever it is, they think it out, they determine when and how it can be accomplished, but they don’t ask if it’s okay.
You’d be surprised how much you apologize just to be nice or to soften negative information. Don’t start your sentences with, “I’m sorry, but…,” simply state the question or response without apology. Badass women don’t apologize for their questions, because the questions aren’t stupid and they are worth asking. They know it’s okay to disagree, and okay to say no, without being “sorry.” These women make their words mean something; they don’t diminish either the words or themselves by drowning them in apologies! They know when apologies are necessary and when they aren’t.
It’s not that the badass women doesn’t ever get screwed over, left behind, cheated on or lied to. It’s that they take from the experience the lessons that need to be learned and move on. Badass women consider what happens to them, good and bad, as just a normal part of life. They don’t relive the moment over and over, they don’t take things too personally, and they don’t seek revenge. They understand that while they aren’t in control of the actions of others, they are in full control of how they react to the situation. And they react by rolling their sleeves up, doing their best Rosie-the-Riveter pose and moving the hell on.
No one is completely happy with the way they look, with everything they do, or with their life in general. There is always someone who has a better figure, prettier hair, a better job, but the badass woman isn’t stressed out by this knowledge. They don’t define themselves by one attribute or feature; they are aware of their uniqueness and appreciate it. They do not tire themselves or others with constant litanies of how they aren’t as skinny as they should be, or as successful as they should be - badass women accept who they are and don’t waste anyone’s time complaining about it.
One defining characteristic common to most badass women is they know when to let go of something and never look back. They don’t contort themselves in endless attempts to make something work. Friendships that take more than they ever give, relationships that aren’t happy anymore, decisions that didn’t work out the way they should have, all are subject to the measurement of weights and balances. People change and situations change, and when they require more effort than they offer in return, it’s time to walk away.
Badass women are okay with just saying “No,” without explanation, or with going about their business without providing people explanations about how and why they made the decisions they did. They have no problem keeping their motivations to themselves and feel no need to chat on and on about their inner drives or desires. They alone are responsible for their decisions, and they don’t feel a need for consensus.
Badass women exude confidence. They stand straight, they look people in the eye, and they don’t flinch even when someone gives them bad news. They speak their minds, even if it goes against protocol, and they speak it without waiting to be asked for their opinion. They are often well-dressed, but even when dressing casually they create their own style and never go with something just because it’s trendy. They can rock a red silk dress with bright red lipstick as well as a worn out pair of jeans and a cowboy hat, but they own the look they’ve created and feel powerful while wearing it.
Don’t be mistaken in thinking that to be a badass woman you can’t be nice. Far from it, you can be. Badass shouldn’t equal bad tempered or disrespectful, superior, mean or nasty. It means confidence, self esteem, achievement and respect. And nice too…
Are you a badass or is she inside screaming to be set free?