Are you looking for some ways to develop charisma? There are many characteristics that we crave that perhaps don’t come naturally to us, and one such one is the desire to be a charismatic personality. There are some very lucky people who don’t have to work at this and are naturally charismatic. Others want it and are prepared to embrace the effort involved in becoming that person that stands out in the room, that no-one ever forgets their name, and that people want to be around because they exude an aura that just sends out waves of success and confidence. Not being charismatic doesn’t mean that you fade into the background, just like wanting to be charismatic doesn’t mean you are an attention seeker. Here are some ways to develop charisma and the traits of charismatic personalities.
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1. Be Strong for a Change and Think of You First!
Women don’t need affirmative action, but, women have been getting the short end of the man’s stick since time began. If you want to know how to develop charisma then stop trying to please other people and think of yourself.
Women like Judge Judy have proved that a woman can play a man’s game and win, and nobody would say she listens more than she talks, or that she is a pushover. Nobody would say that she works to please others because she does not, and yet she is charismatic and a role model.
Do you think Oprah is so rich because she cares about what men or women think about her. Sure, she cares about what her public think about her, but do you think they see her when she negotiates a contract or makes a publishing deal?
If a man is bossy then he is driven, if a woman is bossy then she is a bitch if she is obeyed and a nag if she is not. Be strong, be forward, and do what is best for you. People will learn to love you when they see they cannot dominate you.
2. Practice Your Smile
A winning smile is all part of being charismatic. Brad Pitt has a smile that would allow him to get away with murder. Angelina Jolie has a smile that could convince men to lick the dirt from her boots. Practice your smile on a camcorder or photos (not in the mirror) and then do it often.
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3. Pay Attention if You Have to
The most charismatic people are sometimes the hardest to get a few moments with. If you wish to develop charisma, then make sure your time spent with people is short but intense. Give them an intense and deep taste of being around you, before you are interrupted and have to go to another conversation or appointment. Give them a taste, but leave them wanting more and your date book will fill up.
4. Watch Your Body Language
Words do not matter. One of the only ways to develop charisma correctly is through body language. Stop working on your words and what to say, and look at how you walk, move and act. As a woman you should walk with one foot directly in front of the other. It makes your bottom wiggle from side to side as you move, but that is part of being feminine.
Stand with your back arched a little so that your bum sticks out a little and your chest sticks out a little. Not to impress others, but because you are woman and proud. This is what you are, this is where you are, now who is worthy of YOUR time. Try walking and standing like this, and just notice how differently people treat you. Especially if you walk as if you have a tool belt on your hips, and especially if you stand as if you are waiting for a bus. Just try it once and you will find that you will learn the art of charisma a lot easier.
This is not about subjugating yourself to the ideals of women should look and act certain ways. This is about using what you have to your advantage.
5. Talk if You Have Something to Say
People think that talking is one of ways to develop charisma, but talking when there is nothing worth saying makes you annoying. On the other hand, do not listen more than you talk. It is an advert for getting walked all over. Have you ever seen an American president who is good at listening? And yet he is charismatic enough to rule the richest country in the world.
There is not a charismatic person (real or celebrity) who listens more than he or she talks. The people who do this sort of thing are chumps. Listening more than you talk is called being a sweetie and not being charismatic. The guy who listens to the chattering of his women friends will end up making him their new sister, as oppose to their dashing lover.
If you have something worthwhile to say, then say it loud and say it proud. If not, then zip it until you do, but do not become known solely as being a good listener, or people will forget your name.
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6. Learn How to Use the Dramatic Pause
Here’s how to develop charisma--pause and people will listen. Talk fast and people will tune you out. Talk incessantly and people will stop listening. Pause as if you have just had a deep thought and it tugged on a heart string or two. Watch presidents give speeches, as they are taught how to pause for greater effect. Remember all the pauses in, “I did not have sex with that woman.”
Pause to allow your words to linger, creating suspense and drawing people in. Subtle silence can captivate, adding weight to your statements and prompting listeners to reflect on what you've said. Short, deliberate pauses can signal importance or emotion, making your audience hang on to every word. This technique isn't about speaking less but speaking more purposefully. Practice pausing after key points to let them resonate. Slow down your speech to maintain control and focus, ensuring your message is not just heard but felt. Employing strategic pauses can transform a mundane monologue into a powerful, engaging dialogue.
7. Get a Sense of Humor
It runs through the whole of the world, and is part of being charismatic. It can also be a powerful tool in everything from getting a promotion, to winning a lover and stopping the bigger person from beating you up.
Judge Judy tells a story of how she ate lunch in the judge’s canteen that had always been men only. An old judge marched up to her and in a booming voice told her that this is for judges only. Judy (who had been a judge for 20 years) said, “Sorry, I am the maid”, cleared away few dishes and left as the judge stood over her with a smug look on his face. The other judges were well aware of Judy and her reputation and verily laughed the smug old judge out of the canteen like they were back at school picking on the fat kid.
Judy could have become defensive or uptight in that situation, but she was funny and the other judges got to laugh along with her as she embarrassed the pompous old chauvinist judge.
Ok, so some of these ways to develop charisma seem tough. Some are probably contrary to ways to act that you have always thought and been taught were best. But, it isn’t about changing how you act to your family and your friends. So be a good listener to your sister and BFF! Developing a charisma is about making an impact that you put to good use to take you places. Who do you think has charisma that you’d see as a role model in your quest to develop charisma?
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