Since it’s unpleasant, uncomfortable and sometimes even hard to deal with someone who betrays you, here are a few very helpful tips on how to deal with a backstabbing friend. A backstabber is someone who just pretends to be your friend but who does things that hurt you. Backstabbing is just a form of manipulation and someone who acts this way is an insecure, disloyal and dishonest person who just tries to double-cross you. It’s not easy dealing with this kind of toxic friend but there are a lot of ways you can confront them. Here are a few very helpful tips on how to deal with a backstabbing friend that you should consider:
Table of contents:
- understand their motivation for backstabbing you
- confront the backstabber
- prepare your approach
- stay calm
- listen to their response
- forgive them
- build back trust
1 Understand Their Motivation for Backstabbing You
One of the most important things you can do if you want to learn how to deal with a backstabbing friend is to understand their motivation for acting this way. Are they having problems making or keeping close friendships? Are they jealous of you or are they trying to impress someone else?
2 Confront the Backstabber
The next thing you should do is to try to confront the backstabber so you can clarify the things that bother you and to find out exactly what made them act this way. Just talk to them, call them, send them a message or an e-mail and ask them to meet with you so you can sort things out.
3 Prepare Your Approach
Before confronting your so-called friend, try to prepare your approach so that you will know what you want to say to them. This way, you won’t forget anything important and you will be able to discuss all those things that are bothering you. Just put together a list of things you want to talk about with them and rehearse it before you meet with them.
4 Stay Calm
The best way to confront someone who backstabbed you is by staying calm and by avoiding being rude or aggressive. Just take an assertive approach, show them that you are interested in understanding them and that you’re not quick to judging them. Control your temper and don’t use judgmental statements. Maintain eye contact, stay relaxed and speak calmly.
5 Listen to Their Response
Even if it’s hard to control your temper and you’re tempted to accuse them of hurting you, try to keep an open mind and listen to their response. They might have a good explanation for what happened or you could even discover that you need to apologize to them too, because something that you did made them act this way.
6 Forgive Them
Even if you think that they don’t deserve it, try to forgive them because it’s not healthy holding a grudge against someone. Do it for yourself if you don’t want to do it for them. It may be a bit difficult at first but once you will understand that this way you can win your friend back (if you wish to,) you will realize that it is worth it.
7 Build Back Trust
Once you decide to forgive your friend, the next thing you should do is to try to slowly build back trust. Don’t let the issue block your ability to share secrets and be honest with your friends. Just allow that person who hurt you to prove you that you can trust them again and that they are really sorry for what they did.
It’s not easy dealing with a backstabbing friend but if you have enough patience and if you take the time to find out what motivated them to act this way, then you will realize that it’s not that hard to solve the unpleasant situation.
Have you ever dealt with a backstabbing friend? How did you do it? Do you know any other tips on how to deal with a backstabbing friend? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!
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