Dealing with a self-absorbed person can be emotionally draining. There isn’t a lot of return for your investment into a person like this. A lot of times you can avoid dealing with a self-absorbed person. Sometimes you can’t because they are a family member, you work with them or some other sort of situation makes staying away from them unavoidable. These are some tips that can help you deal.
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1. Realize Their Limitations
The first thing you need to do when you are dealing with a self-absorbed person is to realize their limitations. It is important to realize they are not capable of being a true friend or caring about you. Their ability to care for others is very limited. They are always going to struggle to identify with the feelings of others. Accepting that there are limits to their ability to relate is step one.
2. Adjust Your Expectations
Step two is to adjust your expectations. Don’t expect a lot from a self-absorbed person. It is best to just accept how they are. When you expect them to be that way, you won’t be nearly as annoyed when they are. Realizing they aren’t going to be any different can help you to deal.
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3. Put Some Distance between You
If you are in a position where you can back away from this person, that's great. But if you are in a position where you cannot cut them out of your life, you just have to get creative about putting a little distance between you. You might be able to talk to them a little less. If it is a situation where you work together, you may be able to politely let them know you have work to do. A little distance can be very helpful.
4. Just Let Them Talk
It is very hard to have a conversation with a self-absorbed person. They usually don’t do very well with conversations because they can only focus on themselves. If that is the situation, it is usually best to just let them talk. Make the appropriate responses and make your way out of the conversation. Hopefully they will find a new person to talk to.
5. Get with Some Other Friends
Being with a self-absorbed person is draining. It can be helpful to get with some of your good friends. It kind of helps to balance out what you are dealing with. It will feel like a real treat to be with people that are caring individuals after being with someone who isn’t that way. If you have an unavoidable self-absorbed person in your life, you need to make time with good friends a priority. It will help you deal.
6. Find Some Humor in It
It can be very beneficial if you can find a sense of humor about dealing with a self-absorbed person. They really are very predictable. If you can just step back from the situation, you can see the humor in it. Learning to laugh about it is the better choice. It saves you a lot of stress.
7. Don’t Let It Get to You
Most importantly, don’t let dealing with a self-absorbed person get to you. Realize they have the issue, not you. Do whatever you can to deal with the stress of the situation. It can be helpful to have the viewpoint that you are not the one with the issue. This is a way to take a step back from the situation.
Do you have a self-absorbed person in your life? How do you deal? Please share your strategies!
Comments
Memo: Omg,this is exactly like my husband it's so hard to talk to him or discus anything with him he makes my life so difficult that I don't talk to him for weeks sometimes anytime we get close he rages out and goes crazy on me so either we r not talking or we r fighting so I always think of leaving him but we have kids and it's so hard for me this situation either I have to walk on eggshel or he'll turn crazy on me. It's had ur spouse to be this way.
Memo: Hard!
Karla: I work with one and share a house with another, it's not easy and in some situations it's very embarrassing and uncomfortable.
Cara: This is 100% my dad!! Lol
HALA: Oh man. My "friend" is so self-absorbed and such a know it all! Every time she's around she causes so much drama and I just hate her presence.
Aliza: So true.... Good advice
Toyia: This is a great description. Also the terms narcissistic and paranoid describe this behavior. Their day begins and ends totally focused on self. Find warm people in your life....talk with them, travel with them...creating distance is key. And, they get worse with age!
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