You can't go through life without having confrontations. Sometimes, the drama will come to you. Other times, you'll be forced to initiate confrontation for the sake of your own health and happiness. Either way, it can be hard to argue with someone without crying, which is why you should follow these tips to keep your cool:
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1. Stick to the Topic at Hand
If you approached your boyfriend to complain about how he's always late for dates, then don’t veer off topic by bringing up something hurtful he did years ago that you should've forgiven him for already. If you bring up tons of different topics at once, the original one might be swept under the rug. Plus, the more bad memories you bring up, the bigger your chances are of starting a huge fight you didn't mean to start.
2. It's Usually Not Personal
If your boss fires you, it doesn't mean that she hates you. She might've been forced by her boss to make some cuts. She might've been informed that you did something that's against policy. Either way, it's likely not her way of telling you she can't stand you. She's just doing her job.
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3. Remember You Can Cry Later
There's nothing wrong with crying. It helps you release your emotions so you can go through life happy again. However, it can be embarrassing to cry in the midst of an argument. In fact, it will typically make you lose that argument. That's why you should hold back your tears by remembering that you'll be able to cry all you want later. Just don't do it in the middle of a confrontation.
4. Keep Good Posture
You've heard that smiling can trick your brain into thinking that you're happy. That's why you should stand up straight and speak confidently during a confrontation, in order to trick yourself into believing everything is okay. If you mumble or let your voice waver, it'll show how upset you are, which can lead right to tears.
5. Rehearse What You're Going to Say
If you're going to start a confrontation, plan out what you're going to say ahead of time. Think about all of the ways the other person could respond and come up with answers to them. That way, you'll be prepared for whatever is thrown at you. It's much easier to keep your cool when you have a conversation all figured out before it even begins.
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6. Talk in Private
If you're initiating the confrontation, don't do it in public. Instead of yelling at your boss during a meeting, bring up your issues when you're alone in her office. Even if the other person starts a confrontation with you in a room full of people, ask them to step outside with you so you can talk in private. You'll feel more comfortable talking about your feelings when you don't have an audience watching your every move.
7. Walk Away
If the person you're confronting gets vicious, you don't have to stay in the room and take their abuse. You have every right to walk away from the conversation, even when they're in the middle of speaking. Sometimes a person will get caught up in the moment and say something that they don't mean. While they might be angry at you for leaving at first, they'll be happy in the long run, because it stopped them from saying more hurtful things.
Unfortunately, confrontations are a part of life, which is why you should prepare for them as best as you can. Are you an expert at handling confrontation, or do you always end up teary eyed?
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