If you feel like you’re always surrounded by self-centered people and you don’t know what to do, here are a few very helpful ways to deal with selfish people that will make your life a lot easier. But let’s make things clear first: a selfish person is someone who is concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself and who has no regard for the needs or feelings of others. A selfish friend can make you feel overwhelmed sometimes, since you have to always make sure that you make them happy. Here are a few ways to deal with selfish people that I hope you will find to be very helpful:
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1. Understand Where They Are Coming from
One of the best ways to deal with selfish people is to simply understand where they are coming from. Try to understand what motivates their selfishness and why they act this way. Are they feeling insecure or anxious or are they simply being mean and inconsiderate?
2. Don’t Take It Personally!
Even though their behavior may bother you a lot and it may even infuriate you sometimes, try not to take it personally. They probably act the same way with everybody, so it’s not you, it’s them. Just because someone tells you that you are being selfish, inconsiderate or that you’re not being a good friend, it doesn’t mean that all those things are true.
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3. Don’t Be Defensive
Try not to be defensive when one of those selfish people you have to deal with is criticizing you. Try to listen to what they have to say and even if this may be hard sometimes, try to control your temper and remind yourself that you can only change your perception and not the way others see things.
4. Don’t Assume
We are often tempted to make assumptions that are incorrect or misleading. If someone accuses you of being self-centered, try to find out what makes them say that. Be calm and ask them to explain to you how you are being selfish. This way, you will know if something you are doing is really bothering them or if they are the ones who are being selfish and demanding.
5. A Certain Amount of Selfishness is Healthy
Before accusing someone of being self-centered, try to remember that a certain amount of selfishness is healthy. A healthy amount of selfishness will allow you to take care of yourself and to help others as well. There are times when it’s good to be a little bit selfish, so try not to judge others so harshly.
6. Set Boundaries
In order to protect yourself, try to set some clear boundaries when you’re dealing with a selfish person. Just speak up for yourself as soon as you feel uncomfortable and when that other person begins to step on your toes. Remember that if you don’t allow people to act selfishly, they will be more considerate and they will act more reasonable.
7. Don’t Feed Their Selfishness
If you have to deal with a selfish individual on a daily basis, make sure that you don’t feed their selfish sense of self-importance. Stay true to yourself, have patience and explain to them calmly why you would like to do a certain thing and not what they demand you to do.
Having to deal with a self-centered friend is not an easy thing to do but it’s not an impossible thing either, if you have enough patience and if you learn a few tricks that you can use. Do you know any other helpful ways to deal with selfish people? Please tell us about them in the comments section!
Sources: psychologytoday.com, everydaylife.globalpost.com
Comments
Dagoddess: Its terrible when the selfish is your other half or a sibling. Sometimes i just want to yell and throw things at them.
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