Perfectionism gets a bad rap, which, let's be honest, is partly its own fault. It’s that friend who always wants to make plans—perfect plans—then cancels at the last minute because the weather isn't ideal or Spartacus: Blood and Sand wasn’t historically accurate enough. Coping with perfectionism in 2024 requires a blend of humor, strategy, and, yes, lowering the impossibly high bar we've set for ourselves. (Oh, the irony.)
Now, if you're wondering why you should pay attention to my musings about perfectionism, it's because I've been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt. Trust me, it doesn't come in the right shade of "not good enough" blue. After many years of guffawing at my ridiculously high standards, I've distilled my experiences and knowledge into a handy guide that even a staunch perfectionist can tolerate.
Let's start with some hard truths. Perfectionism is like trying to install a new piece of IKEA furniture without instructions— except the instructions are written in Swedish and you don't know where the Allen key went. This relentless pursuit of flawlessness drags you into a vortex where nothing is ever done, nothing is ever good enough, and any achievement feels about as satisfying as a soggy cornflake. Learning to cope with perfectionism can genuinely change your life. Spoiler alert: It's not about lowering your standards, but about being kind to yourself.
One of the significant ways to start reining in perfectionism is by embracing the mindset of "good enough." Now, don't sever ties with me yet! I know as a perfectionist, the concept of Accepting Imperfection sounds absurd. You're probably imagining a horror movie scene where you're surrounded by half-finished projects and unindexed libraries. But here's the kicker—no one, except you, is going to notice the imperfections you've spent hours obsessing over. Shocking, I know.
It's also vital to remember that perfectionism isn't just about work or school. It seeps into every aspect of life—relationships, self-image, even hobbies. That’s why learning to cope with it in a broader context is so important. I, for one, have gone through more drafts of this intro than I care to admit. But hey, they say sharing is caring, so consider this your road map to no longer being your own worst critic.
Want to reduce that anxiety and finally complete that hobby project you've been dabbling with since 2017? Stay tuned for a deeper dive into Setting Realistic Goals.
And if you're ready to ditch procrastination fueled by perfectionistic tendencies, I've got some anecdotes under Overcoming Procrastination you'll want to hear. After all, it’s time to stop perfecting and start living. Let's get to it!
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1. Quit Comparing
One of the hardest, but most important ways to cope with perfectionism is to quit comparing yourself to everyone else. I know that’s much easier said than done, but remember this: you were created to be you, just like you are. So long as you’re honest, taking care of your body, are kind to other people and doing your best to work towards your goals, quit trying to be the image of what “perfect” is in your mind. You can’t change the fact that you don’t look like another person, have someone else’s job, or live the same life as your favorite celebrity. What you can do is be the best version of you, who will always be true to herself above all else.
2. Focus on What Matters
It’s easy to get caught up in what perfect really is. Let me just tell you, it isn’t looks, money, men or clothes. It’s your family, your morality, how you take care of yourself, and the messages you tell yourself daily. Focus on what matters, and start with your mind. Start to focus on the important things in life, and quit focusing on what you need to do to be perfect.
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3. Try Yoga
Many people swear by yoga for many things, but I’ve actually found it to be quite helpful in helping me relieve the need to be perfect. It isn’t a cure all, but it does help you to focus on being calm, caring for yourself, and embracing your body just as it is. It also helps relieve the stress from the need to be perfect, and that in itself is a huge way to combat the problem all together.
4. Zone out
Another way I like to cope with perfectionism is to zone out. This might come in the form of reading, taking a walk, going to the library, chatting with a friend or my mom, or watching a funny show. It doesn’t cure perfectionism permanently, but if you practice it daily, it will help you start to learn to focus on things that you enjoy besides just trying to be perfect. It also gets you out of your head, which is the root of where your desire for perfection lies anyway.
5. Exercise
If you’re obsessed with exercising, this isn’t something I’d recommend overdoing, but if you’re not a regular exerciser, I do suggest you start. Exercising can give you pride in your body just as it is, it can help you combat stress, and it’s also great for your heart. It also gives you a sense of pride and motivation. Try it and find the kind that works best for you. I found it to be one of the most helpful tools in helping me fight perfectionism in my early 20s.
6. Nourish Yourself
Since I’m a nutrition major, you know I have to correlate your nutrition plan to this article, right? Seriously, though, nourishing yourself through healthy foods directly changes the way your mind works. Certain foods like foods high in omega 3 fats, amino acids from protein, and vitamin rich foods like vegetables and leafy greens truly do help stop depression and anxiety from life, and can help your mind focus more. This in return, helps combat the “overactive mind” that I call it, that leads to a constant drive towards perfectionism. I found my diet that used to be full of processed food and sugar to be one of the main causes for my depression, and my constant ADD mind, as I called it. Once I removed those foods, I felt a sense of balance like never before. It’s not a 100% foolproof weapon, but it will help dramatically.
7. Connect with Others
Another great way to fight perfectionism is to connect with others, possibly those that struggle with the same issues you do. This can help you sort out the issues at hand, or just help you focus on other, more important things. There’s nothing like de-stressing with a good girlfriend over coffee or tea, so do it often if you don’t already. If you can’t do this, then find an email buddy who can relate instead. I’ve actually found that to be tremendously helpful as well.
Perfectionism is an issue that most women in America face today, but it’s not impossible to combat with certain tools and tips like these. If you struggle with the need to be perfect, how do you cope?
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Heather I absolutely adore your articles. I feel as though you write them with passion & integrity. Love it! X
So nice:) I am a true perfectionist myself and I swear sometimes it truly drives me crazy,but I am trying my best to overcome most of the facts that have been mentioned here in this article
Heather, thank you! You really are an inspiration.
Good article! If you want to cope with perfectionism, keep in mind that you are good enough (if you just do your best). Get self confidence!
Comments
Cassie:Heather I absolutely adore your articles. I feel as though you write them with passion & integrity. Love it! X
Diana:So nice:) I am a true perfectionist myself and I swear sometimes it truly drives me crazy,but I am trying my best to overcome most of the facts that have been mentioned here in this article
Julie:Heather, thank you! You really are an inspiration.
Ine:Good article! If you want to cope with perfectionism, keep in mind that you are good enough (if you just do your best). Get self confidence!
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge