There are certain situations when you may be tempted to compare yourself to others. It is a temptation for everyone to compare themselves at times but it isn’t a good thing to do. Comparing yourself only makes you feel bad. These are seven situations when you find yourself tempted to compare yourself to others and what you can do instead.
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1. When a Friend Loses a Lot of Weight
You may be tempted to compare yourself to others when you have a friend that loses a lot of weight. It can make you feel badly about your own weight. Don’t let that comparison make you feel badly. Use that as motivation to kick start your own weight loss, if that is an issue in your life. Choose to see your friend’s weight loss as inspiring, not as a comparison that makes you feel bad.
2. When Someone Has More Money than You
It can make you feel tempted to compare yourself to others when you know someone has more money than you do. This won’t do anything but make you feel bad. Choose to reflect on the fact that finances change and you don’t know what the future holds. You may be in a better financial state in times to come than you are right now. Think about things you can do to change your current financial status instead of getting wrapped up in comparisons.
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3. When You Get Passed up for a Promotion
It is tough when you get passed up for a promotion. It can feel like a personal insult even if it isn’t at all. Instead of comparing yourself to the person that got the promotion and making yourself feel awful, talk to your supervisor. Ask them what you can do to improve your chances of a promotion the next time an opportunity comes along. Choose to see the future with a positive outlook instead of getting caught up in the present, comparing yourself to someone else.
4. When Your Ex Gets a New Girl
It can be really difficult to deal with when your ex gets a new girl. You see them together and it can just make you feel awful. It is very, very tempting to compare yourself to her, to think about what she has that you don’t. Don’t go there. Your ex is your ex for a reason. Even if he is the one that split up with you, that just means that he couldn’t see the value he had in you.
5. When You Feel You Aren’t a Good Parent
It is so tempting to compare yourself to other parents when you feel you aren’t a good parent or are having a day when you don't feel like a good parent. Can you tell this one is one I have struggled with? I have and here is what I have learned. Just like all children are different, all parents are different. As long as I am being the best mother that I can be and my children are happy, healthy and well-cared for, I need to cut myself some slack. You should do the same thing.
6. When Your Parent Plays Favorites
It can be very tempting to compare yourself to others when your parent plays favorites. In this situation, you may be tempted to compare yourself to your siblings. The fact is that even if your sibling is more successful or was a better-behaved child than you were, the issue is still not yours. If there is true favoritism, it is your parent’s issue. Let them be the one to live with that. You need to just go on with your life.
7. When You Feel You Don’t Measure up
In any given situation, you may feel temptation to compare yourself to others when you feel you don’t measure up. The truth is that everyone can all make improvements in themselves, including the person you are comparing yourself to. However, comparing ourselves to others is not a healthy choice. Comparing ourselves suggests that we feel we are lacking in some way. It is better to make the choice to let differences motivate you to do and be better.
These are seven situations when you may be tempted to compare yourself. When are you most tempted to compare yourself to others? What helps bring you out of that funk?
Comments
Karen: I personally went through & understand #6. My mother played favorites between myself & my 2 siblings. My mother always chose them over me, which is why I always tried to keep from doing that with my children. Whenever I was accused of playing favorites with my children I always denied that, saying that I loved them equally but for different reasons, then I would point out the things I loved about each child but I tried my very best to never compared the children with the others. Even when I was complaining about a negative behaviour of a child, it always came out as something that I wished the child would aim that behaviour in a more positive action. Like my son's ability to see something done once & then he could do it himself.
Karen: I was praised for how well my children behaved & that always confused me. Why aren't all parents raising decent, responsible children? It's a no brainer to raise children with them & anyone around them with the idea that you should treat themselves & others the way that each person would want to be treated themselves. I never had to spank my kids either. The worst punishment that I ever gave them was a set amount of time in a corner &/or letting them know how disappointed I was. Is that too hard to comprehend?
Karen: #5 really hits home for me. As I wasn't "raised" by my mother as she was mentally ill from the time I was about 8 or 9 years old, I had no role model for being a parent when I became a parent myself when I had my first baby when I was almost 18 years old. I went forward as a parent with only one thing in mind ... how would I want to be treated if I was my child(ren)? By raising my offspring with that thought in mind I actually raised my children to be polite, respectful of others, compassionate, & patient with others.
Sahsah: Thank you alicia. This is really good
Sonia: When I am tempted to compare myself to others, I just keep on my mind that no two persons are alike. I have to strive myself instead be a better persons. The saying that, "If others can why can't I?" gives me courage to do my best.
Karen: Such as escaping the house to go to school like his big sister. He was only 3 yrs old @ the time.
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