There are many reasons you shouldn't feel guilty about things you have or have not done. Guilt leads people to feel bad about things they can't actually control, and dwell too much on what might have been instead of concentrating on the present. It's also a very negative emotion that is hard to get rid of once it sets in. So here are some reasons you shouldn't feel guilty …
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1. Pointless
One of the reasons you shouldn't feel guilty is that it's pointless. What does it actually achieve other than to make you feel worse? Instead, channel that guilt into deciding how you're going to do better in the future. Don't waste your emotional energy on worrying and blaming yourself for things that you probably couldn't have prevented or done any differently.
2. Not Your Responsibility
Quite often, people feel guilty about things that aren't even their responsibility anyway. They feel bad about things that their government has done or that they can't do more to help people. While it's sign that they're caring people, it's not something that they are personally responsible for and they can't do much about (aside from vote for a different government).
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3. Not Infallible
Guilt often causes us to forget that we're only human and get things wrong sometimes. Nobody's infallible (aside from the Pope). So, unless your name is Francis and you live in the Vatican, stop blaming yourself for being less than perfect. We all make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes affect other people.
4. Can't do Everything
Some people feel guilty because they have to say no when asked to help out. But if you already have demands on your time you've got every right to say no. Even if you just don't want to do it, that's fair enough; nobody should feel obliged to do something just because they're asked (aside from their fair share of household chores).
5. Long Time Ago
Do you ever feel guilty about something that happened years ago and wish that you could apologise to the person concerned? It's particularly useless fretting about something that happened a long time ago, and most likely the person concerned has long forgotten about it anyway. Forgive yourself for whatever you did and move on.
6. If Only …
It's all too common to think 'If only …' - but how is that going to change anything? You did what you did for the reasons that you did them. Perhaps you thought you were doing the right thing at the time. You can't undo the past or rewrite it, so stop thinking about the 'if onlies' and accept that is how things happened.
7. Think Positive
Finally, since feeling guilty achieves nothing, why not focus on positive things instead? If you truly did something wrong, resolve to do better from now on. Then something good can come out of it. Concentrate on what you can do, and not what you can't do anything about.
Guilt really gets you nowhere, and hangs around for a long time. It can be a very destructive emotion, so try not to let it get a hold on you. Don't be too hard on yourself for things you got wrong in the past. And don't allow other people to make you feel guilty. Have you ever been made to feel guilty even when you know you're not at fault?
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