Even if you have the best intentions, it’s best to know why you shouldn’t try to change someone. Trying to change someone is a tricky game that shouldn’t be played. Not only can you hurt yourself but more importantly, you’ll hurt the person you’re trying to change as well. Sometimes change is necessary if it’s detrimental to the other person’s safety or health for example, but unless they are harming themselves, it’s important that you don’t intervene in their life. Here is why you shouldn’t try to change someone.
One of the reasons why you shouldn’t try to change someone is you will push them away. Perhaps you are trying to change the other person so you can have fewer disagreements or have more in common. But, rather than bringing the two of you together you will only push the other person away. No one likes to be “fixed” or “meddled” with and if you try to do too much tampering, the other person will find someone else who appreciates them instead.
At the end of the day, all everyone wants is to be happy. The worst thing you can do for someone is to rain on their parade. Let them have their small victories and applaud them for their accomplishments rather than point out their weaknesses. Being overcritical of someone can ruin their self esteem and self image.
People can always feel when they are underappreciated or being taken for granted. As a result, they can start to feel a sense of resentment. Resentment is worse than anger since it’s a combination of both angriness and bitterness. The last thing you would want is for a loved one to resent you.
Wanting to change someone for reasons outside of health and safety can be selfish and your partner, friend, or family member will think so too. Furthermore, it may not be the other person - it could be you with the "problem"! Really evaluate the situation and make sure you’re not trying to change someone just for your sole benefit.
If you don’t have the same perspective, goals, characteristics, etc... and it’s bothering you, maybe it’s time to find someone else who has more in common with you. Both you and the other person will be better for it.
People are fragile beings who have emotions and thoughts. Tampering with someone’s being can be very damaging to their mental and emotional health. It’s best to let someone be themselves because that is how they are their happiest. Otherwise, you may be causing many unnecessary issues in the other person’s life.
No is perfect, including yourself. Remember, when you a point a finger there are three pointing back at you. Rather than trying to fix or change someone else, try working on yourself. You’ll find it’s easier to love other people when you can love yourself.
Trying to change someone is a risky business and should not be taken lightly. It’s best to speak to that person directly about what is bothering you. After that the rest is up to them. However, be brave and take a look at yourself, there might be some self improvement you need to work on first. What are some other reasons why you shouldn’t try to change someone?
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