Even if you have the best intentions, it’s best to know why you shouldn’t try to change someone. Trying to change someone is a tricky game that shouldn’t be played. Not only can you hurt yourself but more importantly, you’ll hurt the person you’re trying to change as well. Sometimes change is necessary if it’s detrimental to the other person’s safety or health for example, but unless they are harming themselves, it’s important that you don’t intervene in their life. Here is why you shouldn’t try to change someone.
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1. Push Them Away
One of the reasons why you shouldn’t try to change someone is you will push them away. Perhaps you are trying to change the other person so you can have fewer disagreements or have more in common. But, rather than bringing the two of you together you will only push the other person away. No one likes to be “fixed” or “meddled” with and if you try to do too much tampering, the other person will find someone else who appreciates them instead.
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It is important to remember that trying to change someone is not only ineffective, but it can also be damaging to relationships. Research shows that when people feel like they are being changed, it can lead to feelings of resentment, anger, and even depression. People are entitled to their own opinions, feelings, and beliefs, and it is not up to anyone else to change them. It is important to accept and respect the other person as they are. Additionally, it is important to remember that no one is perfect, and everyone has room to grow and learn.
2. Ruin Their Happiness
At the end of the day, all everyone wants is to be happy. The worst thing you can do for someone is to rain on their parade. Let them have their small victories and applaud them for their accomplishments rather than point out their weaknesses. Being overcritical of someone can ruin their self esteem and self image.
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It is important to remember that it is not our place to try and change someone else. Doing so can be damaging to their self-esteem, as it can make them feel like they are not good enough. Furthermore, it can lead to feelings of resentment and can damage the relationship. We should instead choose to support and encourage them, even if we disagree with their choices. Celebrating their successes and being understanding of their failures can help to create a strong bond and a positive environment. Respect and kindness should always be the main focus when interacting with others.
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3. Resentment
People can always feel when they are underappreciated or being taken for granted. As a result, they can start to feel a sense of resentment. Resentment is worse than anger since it’s a combination of both angriness and bitterness. The last thing you would want is for a loved one to resent you.
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Resentment is a powerful emotion that can lead to a wide range of negative consequences. It can cause people to feel disconnected from each other and can lead to a breakdown in communication. Resentment can also lead to feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and even depression. It can cause people to become defensive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive. If left unchecked, resentment can cause permanent damage to relationships. If you have a loved one that you think is feeling resentful towards you, it is important to take steps to address the issue and try to repair the relationship.
4. Selfish
Wanting to change someone for reasons outside of health and safety can be selfish and your partner, friend, or family member will think so too. Furthermore, it may not be the other person - it could be you with the "problem"! Really evaluate the situation and make sure you’re not trying to change someone just for your sole benefit.
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Trying to change someone for reasons outside of health and safety can have serious consequences for your relationship. It can make your partner, friend, or family member feel like you don’t accept them for who they are, and it can lead to resentment, mistrust, and a breakdown in communication. It’s important to be aware of your own motives and make sure you aren’t trying to change someone for your own selfish reasons. Ultimately, your relationship will be stronger if you accept and appreciate the other person for who they are, instead of trying to force them into becoming someone they’re not.
5. Not Meant to Be
If you don’t have the same perspective, goals, characteristics, etc... and it’s bothering you, maybe it’s time to find someone else who has more in common with you. Both you and the other person will be better for it.
6. Fragile
People are fragile beings who have emotions and thoughts. Tampering with someone’s being can be very damaging to their mental and emotional health. It’s best to let someone be themselves because that is how they are their happiest. Otherwise, you may be causing many unnecessary issues in the other person’s life.
7. No One is Perfect
No is perfect, including yourself. Remember, when you a point a finger there are three pointing back at you. Rather than trying to fix or change someone else, try working on yourself. You’ll find it’s easier to love other people when you can love yourself.
Trying to change someone is a risky business and should not be taken lightly. It’s best to speak to that person directly about what is bothering you. After that the rest is up to them. However, be brave and take a look at yourself, there might be some self improvement you need to work on first. What are some other reasons why you shouldn’t try to change someone?
Comments
Inji: i think change someone is something for me it so annoying bcoz i lived this miserable story right now and he make me cry all the time bcoz why he tell me he loved me and now he don't want me bcoz of some attitude i can change it without breaking up :(
Troy: @Miaan_
Troy: I think it's ok to bring it up maybe once to try to help them but if they don't want help don't give it to them/force it on them because then that's kind of getting into trying to change them...I believe. I hope this helps you 😊
Miaan__: If you've noticed a shift in someone's personality (i.e, they used to be calm, nothing ever bothered them to everything does) is it okay to bring it up to try to get to the root of the problem? is that considered trying to "change" them?
Evelyn: why even stir that pot?
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