All Women's Talk

7 Reasons the past Should Stay in the past ...

By Alison

Have you ever known someone who seemed to live in the past? Some people dwell too much on past misfortunes or spend a lot of time wishing that they had done things differently. Or they may think of happier times in the past and feel that their life is going wrong now. The past should stay in the past, and here are some of the reasons why …

1 Can't Change It

Thinking about the past and wishing you could change what happened is pointless. You can't go back and do things differently; you can only decide to approach things differently from now on. Use your past experiences to learn from, but don't waste your energy wishing you could change something that is well behind you.

2 Looking Forward

It's so much better to look forward than backward. You can do something about the future, but the past is impossible to change. Looking forward means that you'll be enjoying the present, and that's a much more productive and enjoyable way to live. As is so often said - the present is a gift.

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3 Missing out

Living in the past means that you're missing out on enjoying your life and possibly on some positive developments. If you get cross with yourself because you put up with a man who treated you badly, you could be missing out on the chance of meeting a man who'll treat you as you deserve. And if you get angry at all men because of past experiences, you're not going to be very appealing to potential dates.

4 Not as You Remember

Another reason you should leave the past behind you is that it may not be as you remember it. The mind can play tricks on us, and our memories may not be as clear as we think they are. You may also have misunderstood what really happened. Why live in the past if it may not even be what we think it was?

5 Bitterness

I can think of a few people I know who are angry because of the past. They blame others for what happened to them, and constantly complain of the wrongs done to them. They may or may not be right about what happened, but holding on to bitterness leaves you anchored in the past and makes you none too pleasant to be around. Resentful people are very negative.

6 Wasteful

Living in the past is, frankly, an utter waste of your life. You cannot possibly make the most of your life if you're hanging on to old grudges and moaning about how badly you were treated. Nor is it learning from your mistakes. We all have rotten things happen to us; deal with it and move on.

7 Repeating Mistakes

When you've loved someone, you often think of them long after you split up and wish that you could get back together. But your ex is your ex for a reason (or several), and should nearly always stay in your past. If you try to get back with them, you're not freeing yourself for a better relationship with someone who's more suited to you.

It's easy to convince yourself that things were so much better in the past, or that you should have done things differently. But there's no going back, so leave the past behind you where it belongs. Concentrate on the present instead. What do you think are the dangers of living in the past, and have you ever done that?

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