10 Key Pieces of Advice for Girls in Their Early 20s ...

1. Friendships

It’s a strange period for friendships. Many of your friends may have moved far away, you may have lost touch with many and could be feeling lonely. You may have a few friends who are a bad influence, those who never grew up and are content with getting drunk in their parent’s basement. It’s always difficult, but surround yourself with positive influences. Cut toxic people out of your life. Real friends will support you, but won’t let you destroy yourself. Evaluating your friendships is the top bit of key life advice for girls in their early 20s.

2. Dating

The ultimate fear at this age is being single. So much of what you see in the media focuses on the idea of a perfect, long-lasting relationship. The fear of being single can be crushing, but it’s important to appreciate this time to meet new people and really understand yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in a lifelong plan: to have kids at 30, you need to be married at this age, engaged for a year, known him for several years, and so on. In that case, you needed to have met him yesterday. That’s not going to work, and you’ll only crush yourself under your own expectations.

3. Set Realistic Goals

Your own goals and expectations can be the most overwhelming. You can aim for the stars and feel crushed when reality sets in. Truthfully, the only person you need to impress is yourself. It’s so easy to put ambition before health and happiness. Life is a journey, not a destination. We all move at our own pace. It’s OK for your goals to adapt as you grow and learn, and even to fail completely. The important thing is to get back up again.

4. Job

For those who have graduated, the post-college blues are a very real thing. You graduate expecting the perfect job in a big city, with fast track for promotion and a CEO position by the time you’re 30. For some, you’re constantly told your dreams aren’t realistic. You’ll never be an artist so grow up and get a ‘real job’. Your 20s will be full of rejection. It can be soul-destroying, but it’s important to keep pushing through as one day you’ll look back on your mound of rejections and smile.

5. Career Goals

Even worse, you may have no idea what you want to do. You may have graduated and now are saddled in debt with no idea what you want to do with your life. The future stretches out before you. It’s daunting. There’s so much pressure to have a concrete goal. Alternatively, you land that dream job that and it’s not what you imagined. You can be left feeling aimless. Remember that it’s OK to feel like that. You’re not alone. So many of us feel lost in our huge, complex world. You have so much time to figure things out. Perhaps it’s time to sit back and enjoy the ride.

6. Travel

Travel. Travel. Travel. The best advice for young people is always to see the world. We all know someone who won’t shut up about their gap year, or someone who spent 6 months backpacking around Asia. For a lot of us, this is a load of rubbish. You may have no one to travel with, no time to travel due to a new job, or even no money because you must pay rent. In reality, we can’t all do this, so it’s important not to feel guilt over it if you can't. You are so young. You have so much time to explore and the world isn’t going anywhere. Perhaps it’s time to start small. Focus on paying the rent and making amazing memories at home. You can and will see the world, just don’t feel bad that it’s not today.

7. Be Assertive

Being in your early 20s means officially being an adult. Gone are the years of teen angst, the freedom of childhood and the drunken haze of being a student. This can be daunting, and small tasks like talking on the phone or booking your own doctor’s appointment are so scary. But it’s the time of life to start doing things that frighten you. It’s OK to be scared, but it’s time to leave that comfort zone. Fight for what you want. Stick up for yourself. Be assertive. Be selfish. People will walk all over you, so don’t let them.

8. Appearance

You’re finally over the rollercoaster of puberty and your teenage years are behind you. But you are still completely over saturated by the media. The ideal size 6 supermodel is everywhere and your might find yourself aiming for it. It’s easy to fall into trends and end up looking like everyone else. Life is long, but it goes by far, far too fast to give any attention to this rubbish. The only person you need to impress is yourself. So be yourself. Spend this time not giving a shit. High school was far too many years of worrying bout what people think. It’s time to stop caring and truly be yourself. Dye your hair a stupid colour, or shave it all off. Wear whatever you want. Get those piercings or tattoos you’re afraid you’ll regret. Don’t kill yourself over fad diets. Pizza is worth it. Love yourself as you are.

9. Living Situation

For all the jokes and stereotypes about “living in your parent's basement”, it’s hard to avoid this reality. The economy is in shambles and you’re probably broke. If you do still live at home, it’s easy to feel inadequate about your life. Your life is not TV with a cushy flat in New York and a crazy roommate. But you’ll get there. If you have at least four walls and a roof, you’re better off than most people. Be grateful for what you have, and what you’re slowly aiming for. Perhaps pay a small about of rent or help around the house for a degree of independence. Even living with your parents, you are still your own person.

10. Skills

Your childhood and teenage years are a long few years of memorising useless information to pass unimportant tests. You rarely learn something you care about. Chances are you are now out of the education world, so it’s time to learn something you love. This doesn’t mean fancy courses or night classes, as not everyone can afford this. Teach yourself to bake or sew. Buy a skateboard and give it a go. The internet has so many resources, and you’ll regret not trying.

So there’s some advice for girls in their 20s. It’s a difficult stage in your life, just remember that it’s OK. It’s OK to fail. It’s OK to be scared or aimless. It’s OK to be single or feel lonely. The important thing is to work on being happy and healthy. Love yourself. Life is long and you have so much time. Enjoy the journey, not the destination.