You think that earning respect means that you simply read an article and you are there? Well, strap yourself in for a surprise, one article can change your life and get you more respect!
As humans, we are not governed by what happens on the surface. We are not creatures that will change without one hell of a jolt. How many people drive drunk until a drunk driver hurts someone they know? How many people make jokes and light of rape until it happens to someone they love? How many people take their life for granted until it is put on the edge?
Asking if this article will change your life is like asking if the sun will rise tomorrow. Sure, we hope it will rise tomorrow, but who knows for sure until it happens. This article is not going to give you advice that will suddenly change you for the better. But, if you are lucky, it will change the way that you think. It will change you way you think enough to cause a change in your future. If you are skim reading this, and have were tempted to jump to point number one, then this article will not help you. If this article has one piece of golden advice that you need to take away, it is this: you need to change the way you learn, and make a point of finding out how to change. Here is how to make people respect you:
1. Walk Upright, Don’t Slouch, do Not Cower
If you read any of the introduction, then you will know that these tips are just a dance humans do as a consequence of what they know. Just like how a martial arts expert is able to walk tall through a rough neighborhood. He or she is walking talk (the dance/the-exterior projection) but does so because he or she knows that he or she will be safe from harm if confronted (what he/she knows).
It is hard to respect a recessive and submissive person, and failing to walk upright via poor body language and posture is going to make it hard to respect someone. You can slouch and you can cower, but do not walk in such a manner. Look at the way Clark Gable holds himself in the movie “Gone with the wind,” and look at the posture of Horatio (David Caruso in CSI Miami) when he is angry with another person. He looks down a lot (which is usually a sign of a submissive person) and yet when he is angry/dominating, he stands upright, strong and without fear.
2. Never Say Something That You Are Not 100% Sure You Will do (it’s Better to Say Nothing)
It is very hard to respect an unreliable person. Every time you say something, you are making a promise. So just don’t say it. If you have a master plan, then keep it to yourself and prove yourself with actions and not words. People say things they aren’t going to do all the time, and do not realize they are chipping away at the respect they have earned. Ask yourself how many times you have said, “I’m going to kill X” or “Yeah, I’m going to do that one day.”
3. Never Say the Word Sorry Unless You Are Actually at Genuine Fault
Sorry is said far too often by far too many people. Only say it if you absolutely sure you are in the wrong. Say sorry if you step on someone’s shoe, do not apologize for making a point, do not apologize if someone else talks over you, do not apologize just because another person is angry.
4. Understand That You Have Little Effect on the World and Use That Knowledge
You say something and it is innocuous, but the other person blows up (gets angry), then do not be arrogant enough to belie it’s your fault. Their temper tantrum may be a cry for help, but is no doubt just the culmination of a lot of things unrelated to you at all. Just because another person laughs, doesn’t mean you are the cause. If another person is upset, it is not your job to fix it for them.
5. Speak Slower and Pause More Often to Force People to Listen to You
People who talk fast are trying to get their point across before being interrupted. Talk slowly and pause to make people listen. If someone talks over you then keep talking, don’t talk louder, and if the other people miss what you say it is because you were interrupted and not your fault.
6. Speak Louder when in a Group and Quieter Whilst in a One-to-one Situation
In a similar vein to above, talk louder when in a group so that all are forced to listen. And talk quietly one-to-one so that the other person is unable to focus on anything but your words.
7. Never Pull Yourself down, Not Even in a Charming Modest Way
Everything from the “48 laws of power” to Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” will tell you to never pull yourself down (even if the flaw is glaringly obvious). Allow others to form an opinion of you; do not give them a label to give you, unless it is a positive one. If you want to be modest then thank others, do not be modest by pulling yourself down. For example, if you are awarded for something then don’t say, “Ooh I don’t know how I did it, just luck I suppose”, instead say, “Thank you, I learned from the best.”
8. Do Not Dress, Talk, Act, Walk for the Sake of Others
This doesn’t mean forget personal grooming, it means that it is hard to respect the woman covered in makeup from chin to fringe. It is hard to respect the man with his shirt off telling people how many push-ups he can do. It is hard to respect the 400th teenager you have seen today with his trousers hanging off his bottom, with his underwear exposed. A reasonable amount of personal grooming is all that is needed, the other 95% of the impression you give comes from your mind, personality, attitude and heart.
9. Don’t Lie Unless You Have Read Machiavelli’s Prince
Also, remember that liars need a good memory. The respect you lose for lying is always disproportional to the negative effects of lying. People do not know where they stand with a liar, and often feel cheated and dishonored (even though they will never tell you that they secretly harbor these feelings for you).
10. Define What Respect is, and Learn from Those You Respect
Just like in the introduction, another of the best tips has been placed at a point where fewest people are likely to read. Brava for getting through all the points, so here is your reward.
As mentioned in the introduction and point number one, the way you think is key to your success. And, making a conscious and resounding decision to change and learn is the only way (the only way) that you will ever change for the better. With this in mind, define what you actually want to be respected for. Do you want to be respected for sporting achievement, for your intelligence, for your problem solving, for your kindness, for your ability to do your job? Few people can be respected for everything they do. Even Jesus is sometimes criticized for being too passive.
You will find that some people are highly respected at work, and then treat like dirt by their spouse at home. You need to define what you wish to be respected for, and understand that you can be respected for lots of things at the same time, such as your physical strength and your no BS attitude, and whatever else. But, you cannot be respected for everything.
Finally, now you have defined what respect is, and what you want to be respected for, you need to study the people you admire. Why do you respect the people that you respect? Can you duplicate their attributes and success? Can you pioneer your own success in order to receive the same success? If you idolize Simone Biles for her gymnastic prowess, then why not get super fit yourself? If you respect Richard Dawkins for his intelligence (closed minded but intelligent) then why not educate yourself? Make a point of learning how to change.