Death is a part of life, one that is a painful experience we all can’t avoid. When my father passed away, I found myself laying on the floor for a number of days not understanding what was really going on. I thought it’d be a good idea to share some advice and tips for anyone that may find themselves in a phase where they have lost someone, are losing someone, or will lose someone in the future.
I find that the initial moments are when you need to process and understand the situation. Take time to scan the environment that you’re in and what you’re feeling. You may need to take a walk or be surrounded by people. When my dad passed away in the hospital, I was too busy tending my mother and then family members. I didn’t give myself time to focus on my own needs and what I needed.
We all can grieve for as long as we need to. Grieving doesn’t make you weak or any less than you are. It’s important to take time and take care of yourself. Grieving can be applied to break ups or any sort of loss, not just someone passing away. I find that sometimes we all need a good cry.
After understanding the situation, we can begin to take a few steps forward. I like to think of a child learning how to walk because they fall a lot in the beginning. When someone passes away, we all go through a loss; a fall. Losing someone makes us feel disconnected and it’s really hard to let go of those we love and are close to. To see them one day and then not, that’s not easy. When my dad passed away, I told myself to be happy because he would want me to be happy and I believe that to be true to many of those we love that pass away. No matter what they would want us to be happy. Death teaches us a beautiful lesson that we should truly make the most of the moment with those we care about.
When someone dies, we all go through a weird phase where everything feels disjointed, that’s okay! Life is full of adventures and stories. While there is love, there is hate and the same goes with birth. While there is birth, there is death. The cycle of life is that the new generations replace the old generations. We’re all teachers and we all have a story to live.