From time to time we all endure some self-doubt. It all starts with the anti you whispering behind your ear. You begin to question: why not me? Am I not good enough? Am I able to achieve that? Why can’t I be happy like them? We most of the time tend to compare ourselves to others believing that “others” have reached the peak of success.
Personally, I don’t recall myself as someone who hadn’t wished to be someone else. But guess what, I have learnt to transform this to my own advantage. We are all different. Maybe that’s our purpose in life, to be different. It took me time to accept that, but when I did, I discovered that comparison will take me nowhere. So this is how to actually stop obsessively comparing ourselves to other people and get the most out of ourselves and our lives.
People are always fighting with their own egos. So the way people look at you is the way they define their impossibilities, which, in turn, define what you have. So learn to appreciate what you’ve got, focus on it and be grateful for it. You can choose to write on a piece of paper some personal traitsthat make you feel unique. It might take time, but I’m pretty sure you’ll find hundreds of small and big things that make you you.
I’m a true believer that when it comes to human relations nothing is clear. Everything begins to appeal in an abstract way. You might be able to see two lovers or partners who are extremely happy together, but you’ll never be able to see the rest. One of them might be suffering from deep rejection and makes love quickly to avoid being avoided. And the other one might be a player. So stop making assumptions because NO ONE is leading a perfect life even if this is what they tend to do on social media. Note that social media meets two needs. The need of being involved and the need to present ones’ own self.
I know people who compare themselves to others in an attempt to improve themselves in a way they’re truly comfortable with. In this case, the inspiration received is definitely a positive spin. I also know people who do that in order to satisfy their egos. But this will only lead them to anxiety, depression and low self confidence. The best thing to do is to judge the person you were in the past and the person you are today.
Know that you are always free, probably able, to break some rules or agreements you’ve created with yourself and strive to satisfy your needs. This is important because it makes you more aware and conscious about the real you, while breaking the walls of “NO.” However, there are certain things you will never be able to change and that’s fine. Accept it, live it and love it!
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