If right now you’re feeling like you are not getting validation from the people around you, here are ways to become a self validator and boost your self confidence. Let’s face it, family members and friends can be a tough crowd to please and can often times be pretty critical on life decisions. I’ve made some decisions recently that haven’t exactly gotten validation so I’ve come up with ways to become a self validator and I’m here to empower you to do the same so you, too, can feel unstuck.
One of the most important ways to become a self validator is to compliment yourself. Every single day. Self love and self validation is the first step towards feeling whole again. Don’t feel bad or feel selfish because if you can’t be your own cheerleader, you will be too afraid to chase after your own dreams and you will ultimately only be hurting yourself.
I’m serious. Before you turn away from the mirror each time you glance at one, SMILE. Your brain and your subconscious will hold on the feeling of happiness, even if you’re not feeling happy at the present moment. Simply seeing the image of a person smiling will give the hurting part of you the feeling of hope. It also helps that this person is your own reflection.
Life isn't meant to go through as depressed and lonely. We all have the power to create our own reality. If all you focus on is the fact that mom doesn’t approve of your career choice, or grandma doesn’t support your lifestyle choices etc., then you’ll be drowning in other people’s negativity and you’ll be missing out on the simple pleasures of life. By celebrating the little things, you will give yourself the validation that you are living the life that you want to live and that you are finding ways to make yourself happy.
Your subconscious reacts to repetition. If all you do and think and say is something negative, then you will feel more depressed, more alone, and more like a failure. I challenge you to change your ‘mantra’ from “I can’t do anything right” or “I’m a mistake” or “my decisions are mistakes” to “I can do anything I set my mind to”, “I am loved and I attract love”, and “I will be successful and happy in all that I do”. Is it easy to focus on good things about yourself while everyone around you is criticizing, no…but that’s why you need to become a self validator.
This one sounds silly at first but I swear it’s going to be one of the most powerful things you can do. Adult fears and worries stem from young fears and worries. The issue? When younger, you took more offense to things, misinterpreted things, or misunderstood things and now adult you is getting triggered from past traumas. Picture yourself as an adult going over to the younger you and telling younger you that everything is going to be OK. Face whatever fear has been holding you back.
If you are currently feeling like ‘the odd ball out’ in your family or in your circle of friends because your idea of fun is different than their idea of fun, just stick to your own personal idea of fun. Do what makes you happy. I’ve learned over this past year out of college that I’m super creative and quirky and like to express myself through painting and writing and dancing. That makes me happy. Find out what makes you feel more in your skin and go after it.
This is key: do not worry about what anyone else thinks about you and especially do not worry about what anyone else says about you. Let them talk. Let them try their hardest to dedicate their sorry lives to being a bully. Think of how exhausting it must be to be a mean girl. If this world didn’t have weird, crazy, loud, different, out of the box thinkers, our world would be boring and we wouldn’t have 99% of the things we have today. Don’t pay attention to people’s darts.
There could never be a more beautiful you. Live your beautiful life the way you want to and become a self validator because sometimes that is all you have. Sometimes that is all you need to get yourself back up and believe in something again. Sometimes it’s the snowball effect that will lead to people seeing things the way you do. You just have to believe in yourself first. What do you do to validate yourself?
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