Removing toxic people from your life is not an easy task. Chances are that they’re pretty involved in your life, and chances are that you aren’t really sure how to extricate them from your life. I’m here to help, though, and with these tips and reasons to remove the toxic people from your life you’ll be a much happier and more positive person in no time!
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1. Recognize the Problem
The first step to removing toxic people in your life is acknowledging that they’re bad influences in your life. No matter who it is, whether it’s a family member, friend, or coworker, being able to admit that they make you feel bad about yourself is a huge step. When you recognize the problem, you’re that much closer to ending your relationships with these toxic people.
2. Care about Your Own Well Being
Even after you’ve recognized the problem, it may be hard to remove yourself from the situation. Maybe you have to see them every day, or maybe they’re a family that you don’t want out of your life. At a certain point, though, you must care more about your own well being than your relationship with these toxic people. When you start putting your own emotional health as a higher priority than their toxic words, you’re on your way to removing the toxic influences in your life.
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3. Remove Them from Social Media
If you don’t have to see the toxic people in your life everyday, you’re probably seeing a lot of them on social media. Believe me, muting, un-friending, or blocking on social media will immediately put you in a better mindset. If you don’t see them in person often but are constantly seeing them on social media, you may get the same negative effects on your mood just from seeing their presence on your social media. Removing them on social media will make it exponentially easier to forget they exist altogether!
4. Cut down on Contact
Stop communicating with them. Don’t text them first, call them, or anything else. They’ll probably try to initiate contact with you, and when they do, be friendly. Don’t completely give them the cold shoulder, because they’ll probably notice something is up. Instead, be casual and short with your messages. It won’t be too stark of a contrast, and you could eventually chalk it up to “growing apart” if need be.
5. Limit Face-to-Face Interactions
Chances are that you’ll still have to see them every once in a while. If you must see them, try to only see them in big groups of people so you’re not stuck in a draining conversation with them. If you want to take it a few steps further, you could limit the events you go to where you know they’ll be in attendance. It’s a tricky balance, though; you don’t want other aspects of your life to suffer because you’re avoiding one person.
6. Don’t Fight Fire with Fire
If the toxic people you’re avoiding get really angry, don’t get angry back. It just makes it more difficult to remove them from your life. I don’t know the toxic people in your life personally, but based on my own experience, I think I can pretty much assume that they thrive on drama. Don’t fuel their fires. Sometimes, radio silence on your end is necessary, no matter how difficult it is.
7. If You Can’t Remove Them from Your Life, Try Other Options
` Sometimes it’s not possible to 100% extricate the toxic people in your life, for a variety of different reasons. Maybe you live or work with them, or maybe they’re family. If you really don’t think that there’s a way to completely remove them from your life, try talking to them about how they make you feel. If you don’t feel like that’s an option, try to limit the time you spend around them. If you live with them, start finding other places to spend your time until you can move. If you work together, find new work friends. It won’t be as easy to go this route, but at least you have options.
How do you remove the toxic people in your life?
Comments
Smirnoff: Almost a year ago I got rid of my "best friend" who was the most toxic person I've ever met. She'd previously lost a best friend, and tried to make the same thing happen to me. When she failed, she became nasty. It's mad- I became so much happier the second I got rid of her on FB. It's so true- toxic people make you think they're your best friend, but in reality, they're trying to change you so that you don't become more successful than them. I feel great now! :)
KaReN: great tips!! after you've told them to get lost, you'll feel all your troubles and worries fading away and feel a big weight was lifted off your shoulders, that's when you know you've done the right thing:)
Ashnise: Def great tips
Paula: I got rid of a toxic friend once. Life's possibilities immediately opened up and I didn't really miss the friendship because the relationship was so one sided.
audrey: I've removed the father of my baby recently. I uninstalled all my social media even after blocking him. I did it because everything reminds me of him and it makes it harder for me not to think of him or to send him a picture that reminds me of him. He doesn't love me so I have to remove him. Not completely for my daughters sake but it's nothing like before.. it sucks but it's for my own good. And it's not as hard as you'd think it be. This app has replaced my instagram, Facebook, and snapchat. Lol
Isabella: Paula I was in the same boat as you with a former school friend - don't miss that at all! If there's any drama in my life now, it's my sister :/ we're incompatible personality types I reckon and she loves picking on me and 'winning' all the time. I'm the youngest and I've seriously had it with the drama and everything - I prefer not speaking with her to be honest. If she invites me to do things, I'll go along and try to enjoy myself. But, every single time I go out with her, she always finds something about me frustrating and that I always need an explanation for everything - do I have to justify everything? Some things are just the way they are. She's just a big downer for me, sigh
Melba: I relate to this article and to the rest of you. It was very hard for me, but my toxic relationship was my mother. I had to put a stop to it, it was very hard, but I realized that I was trying to please her all the time and that the relationship was all one sided. I realized she would talk to my siblings criticizing me and not giving me credit for anything. I was very lucky that a had a loving an beautiful father. But, I realized that this toxic relationship with my mother was the cause of great unhappiness that I did not show and perhaps did not know, and that this had had a bad influence on the man I chose to marry, I married into a pattern. But that said, It was very hard for me to cut this relationship, but know I am a much happier person, less scared and with a much more deepness of feelings into my friendships and relationships. Thank you for charring guys, I am glad to know I am not the only one : )
Serene: Excellent article! The process is painful, especially when that person used to mean a lot to you. But grit your teeth and suffer through the initial pangs. In the end, you will feel much better as your emotional world becomes a sunnier place. I have been there, so I know. For a long time i felt as though i was walking barefoot on cut glass, The wounds have now healed and i am able to slowly walk with dignity again. Stay strong & focussed!!
Cristina: Going threw this now at work..I don't even bother looking their way. If I hear them I avoid them and go the other way.
Amber: Cristina I definatly have the same problem as you! The group of people i hang out with and I are trying to stop a friendship with someone in our group. Really hard, especially when you have most of the same classes with them at school
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