Happiness is a subject that has fascinated scholars, psychologists, and everyday folks for centuries. We often find ourselves chasing after things we believe will bring us joy, only to discover that true contentment doesn't come from external possessions or achievements. Speaking from personal experience—and a fair amount of existential musing during my university days—it took me a while to realize that happiness isn't about accumulating stuff. As we move into 2024, it’s high time we collectively debunk some common myths about what happiness truly entails.
You might be surprised to learn that you don't need a luxurious car or an extensive wardrobe of designer clothes to feel fulfilled. Indeed, one of the essential truths I’ve come to understand is that material possessions rarely lead to lasting happiness. My old mentor used to say, "The more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to worry about." Spot on, right?
Leading the charge in our list of misconceptions is the idea that wealth equates to happiness. While financial stability is crucial, studies have shown that beyond a certain point, more money doesn't significantly increase your sense of well-being. Instead, focusing on enriching your relationships and finding meaningful work can often be much more rewarding. You’ll find elaboration on this in our section about wealth.
Another pervasive myth is that you need to stick to a strict beauty standard to be happy. The reality couldn't be further from the truth. Trust me, I’ve been through phases where I wouldn't leave the house without meticulously applied makeup and perfectly styled hair, thinking that it would make me happy. It didn’t. Embracing your true self, imperfections and all, is a far more effective route to genuine self-love and contentment. A deeper dive into this is available in our section on beauty standards.
Many people think that having a prestigious job is the ultimate mark of success and happiness. However, what's more important is finding work that you love and that aligns with your values. Sometimes a high-status job can lead to stress and burnout, whereas jobs considered less prestigious might offer better work-life balance. More on this in our section about job satisfaction.
It's also crucial to mention that romantic relationships are often seen as a necessity for happiness. While they can certainly add joy to your life, they aren't a prerequisite for it. Learning to embrace solitude and enjoy your own company are as equally important. This point is further discussed in our section on romantic relationships.
As we journey through these nine misconceptions, you'll discover the surprising, freeing truth—that happiness is a complex, multifaceted state of being that doesn’t fit neatly into societal clichés. Let’s dive in!
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Other People’s Approval
In my opinion, one of the things you do not need to be happy is definitely other people’s approval. Don’t ever be afraid of what other people might think or say about you or especially about your actions, because everything you do, you do it for a reason, your reason and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you otherwise. What you think of yourself should be far more important than what others think of you. Remember: it’s your life and you should live it your way!
A Stress-Free Life
If you think that you’ll only be happy if you’ll have a stress-free life without any kinds of worries or problems, I must tell you that you are wrong, since such a thing doesn’t exist. Learn to make the best of what you have and start living in the moment! By having a positive attitude, you’ll be able to overcome all the obstacles that you might encounter along the way, without stressing yourself too much about all those little details you cannot change. Just like Marc Chernoff said “Great challenges make life interesting; overcoming them makes life meaningful.”.
The Perfect Relationship
A lot of people think that they need to be in a perfect relationship to be happy, or at least to be in a relationship. Well, this just isn’t true. You can be perfectly happy being single, having fun and waiting for that person who will love and cherish you just the way you are (and of course, you would feel the same about them too). Also, every relationship has their ups and downs and you shouldn’t be scared if things seem to be a little bit complicated lately. If you’re facing some problems in your relationship, just try to do something in order to solve them and don’t let them interfere with your happiness!
An Ideal past
Don’t dwell on your past just because you think things didn’t turn out the way you had hoped. You don’t need to have an ideal past in order to be happy. Be thankful for what you have and start working on your future! Some things you just can’t control and remember that everyone makes mistakes sometimes. You just need to learn from your errors, so you’ll avoid repeating them in the future. You’ll grow stronger in time and you will find the strength you need to overcome all the obstacles that might appear in your path.
A Lot of Money
Of course, money can help you fulfill a lot of dreams, but having a mountain of money won’t guarantee your happiness. There are a lot of things money can’t buy, so remember that you don’t need to be filthy rich in order to live a happy and fulfilled life. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work hard enough to be able to support yourself or provide for your family, just don’t get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life. “Keep money on your mind but out of your heart.” (Marc Chernoff).
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To Always Be in Control of Things
In order to be happy and live a healthy and stress-free life, you should learn to give up your constant need to control things. I must confess that I’m guilty of that too and that I really need to understand that things change, people change and sometimes there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. There are things you’ll have to accept just the way they are and once you’ll manage to do that, you won’t be bothered anymore by all the little details that are not the way you want them to be.
The Ideal Circumstances
In order to be happy and accomplish all your goals, you don’t need to have the ideal circumstances. Make the best of what you have, be positive and be grateful for everything that you are blessed with. You are one lucky person, you are smart, beautiful and talented and you should never forget that! Just like Marc Chernoff said in an amazing article he wrote for his blog, “The happiest people do not live with a certain set of circumstances, but rather with a certain set of attitudes.”.
To Impress Other People
You definitely don’t need to always impress other people in order to be happy. I love this quote by James R. Fisher Jr. who said: “Don’t try to impress others. Let them have the fun of impressing you.”. Let go of that constant need to please everyone else. People love you for the wonderful person that you are and your goal in life shouldn’t be winning their affection or trying to impress them. Don’t spend so much time being focused on other people’s needs and sometimes, just think about your own happiness.
All the Things You Don’t Have
You don’t need a lot of things to be happy and certainly you don’t need a bunch of stuff to remind you of that. Happiness is a state of mind and it has nothing to do with the amount of money you have or with the things you own. Just don’t feel miserable because you don’t have enough money right now to buy that dress you adore or those shoes that would be just perfect for your outfit or even that car you desperately need. Don’t let all those somewhat superficial reasons get you down! Learn to enjoy the things you already have and work hard enough to achieve all your goals, but at the same time, don’t forget to be happy and always try to maintain a positive attitude!
There are a lot of things people don’t need to be happy. I just mentioned a few of them and I’m sure there are plenty more that I could add to this list. Can you give me a hand and tell me what other things people don’t really need to be happy? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!
Sources:
marcandangel.com
lifehack.org
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