All Women's Talk

7 Steps to Healing from an Abusive Relationship and Moving on with Your Life ...

By Alicia

Healing from an abusive relationship is not something that is simple and easily done. I know this well because I have been in an abusive relationship. It was many years ago but it did do a lot of damage that I had to heal from. But I did heal and that is proof that you can heal, too. Healing from an abusive relationship is difficult but possible.

1 Give Yourself Time

Healing from an abusive relationship is not something that you do overnight, in a month or even in a year. It takes a lot of time and I believe it happens in different stages. It does get better over the course of time. But do not expect yourself to put it behind you immediately because that is not possible. For me personally, it got better as time went on. The pain and memories lessened.

2 Talk about It

Talking about it helps to a degree. I think it is helpful to talk about it as you need to, but you also want to balance that out. You do not want to get overly fixated on it or to spend too much time dwelling in the past. That part of your life is over. I would remind myself of that at times and to try to let go of the past. You will probably find that you need to talk about it more right after you leave the abusive relationship versus later on.

3 Look Forward

One good way to let go of the past is to look forward. Life can be so beautiful and good. Sometimes it takes a while to remember that after you have left an abusive relationship. Looking forward is a healthy step. Plan for your future and believe that it is going to be bright and hopeful.

4 Take Time to Heal

It is best to take time to heal before jumping into another relationship. It takes time to process everything that you have been through. It is also wise to take time to make sure that you are choosing someone who is nothing like the person who abused you. Sometimes your thinking is cloudy when you first leave an abusive relationship and it takes time to find clear-headedness again, too. Focus on yourself and getting yourself back to wholeness before you try to meet someone new.

5 Have Fun

You know, you have to go through processing and dealing with all of your emotions but you also need to bring fun back into your life. More than likely, your life didn’t have a lot of fun in it for a long period of time. Give yourself permission to laugh, make friends and just enjoy life again. There is something about having fun times that is very healing.

6 Remind Yourself You’re Safe

I remember when I first left my ex very, very well. I remember lying in bed and telling myself, “You’re safe now.” I do not share that for sympathy. I share that because saying that helped me and it can help you, too. Remind yourself that you are safe and that part of your life is over and never to be lived again. Rest in that truth.

7 Seek Counseling

Sometimes, counseling is needed to truly put the past in the past. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It takes a very strong person to admit that they need help. This can be exactly what is needed to help you move on. Only you know if it is right for you. If you cannot seem to move past what you have been through and into the future with hope, it may be time to seek out help.

Healing from an abusive relationship is possible. What do you think helps? Please share your thoughts with us.

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