Sometimes the worst of fights can leave us feeling helpless and at a loss for ways to heal a friendship. Friendships come in all shapes and sizes. Some last a lifetime, while others may only last for a season. They are important markers in our lives. Before you say goodbye for good, take a look at these ways to heal a friendship.
1. You’ve Had a Big Fight
After a big fight it can be hard to find ways to heal a friendship. It’s important to think about both sides of the argument and see if there was confusion, delusion or... if you were wrong. If after weighing both sides, either way, if you still feel right or realize you’re wrong, be the bigger person and talk to her again. Once you’ve cooled off, you can have a calmer discussion to resolve the matter.
2. There’s a Drift
Sometimes friendships naturally do what I call The Drift. People’s lives change. Maybe she’s had a baby or you’ve recently gotten married, and neither of you don’t have the same time you used to have. You both could’ve been growing apart steadily for a while. If this happens, reach out to your friend and see what they’ve been up to. Invite them to do something fun and see if you can spark new life into your old friendship.
3. Take a Breather
Sometimes a friendship needs a breather. Go out and try new things, meet new people and grow. When you both come back together you’ll have something new to talk about. Friends can get stuck in the same old conversation rut day in and day out. Having something new to say might be just what you two need. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
If you feel like you’re available all of the time for her and your friend isn’t it, may be time to re-evaluate the priority of your friendship. If your friend doesn’t have you at the same priority level as you have for her, it might be time to downgrade to a different level and back away. There are seasons in a friendship, and the endless days of summer might be turning into fall.
5. Talk to Her
If you’ve been quietly waiting for an issue to pass or hoping that your friend will magically understand how confused and sad you’ve been feeling, don’t count on her to telepathically know that and come address it with you. She might not know you’re even upset. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Bring up how you’re feeling and be direct. Say what you need to say.
6. Be Understanding of Her Schedule
There will always be times in our lives when we have limited time to spend with people. Don’t take it personally if your friend can’t see you as much as she used to. Set up phone dates, or better yet, Facetime or Skype with her if possible. If she can’t see you in person, this could be the next best thing.
7. Admit when You’re Wrong
It can be hard to admit when you’ve been wrong, especially if you’ve been convincing everyone, including yourself, that you’re right. If you’ve been pushing your friend away, admit it and ask for forgiveness. It can be hard to swallow your pride, but isn’t that worth saving a friendship for?
Friendships are relationships and they have their ebbs and flows. The way your friendship started may not be what it turns into five years down the road. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be on a porch in rocking chairs one day far from now laughing at your lives together. Have you found yourself trying to heal a friendship? Share your story and let me know!