Negative criticism – it's like the broccoli of life. You know it's supposed to be good for you, but it can be so darn hard to swallow. Now, don't get me wrong; I'm not against constructive feedback. In fact, back in my university days, my creative writing professor had a way of critiquing my work that didn’t feel like getting hit by a truck filled with rejection slips. But there’s a distinct difference between helpful advice and soul-crushing, spirit-dampening negativity. Here we are in 2024, and it's high time we learned how to distinguish the two and recognize that some criticisms deserve to be ignored as if they were last year's fashion trends.
The first step to thriving in the face of negative criticism is understanding its source. Often, it comes from people who may not have your best interests at heart. If I had a nickel for every time someone with zero expertise in a subject felt the need to share their unsolicited opinion with me, I'd be lounging on a beach somewhere, sipping a margarita. Recognizing when feedback stems from jealousy, fear, or a simple lack of understanding can help you decide whether to frame it and hang it up or toss it in the mental trash can.
Another important aspect of dealing with negative criticism is how it can affect your mental health. I once made the mistake of reading the comments section of an article I wrote, and let me tell you, it was like voluntarily jumping into a shark tank – why do that to yourself? Mental health experts frequently argue that constant exposure to negativity can severely impact your self-esteem and overall well-being. Spoiler alert: they're right. It's vital to learn to filter out the noise and focus on the constructive voices that help you grow, not the ones that make you want to hide under your bed.
Now, ignoring negative criticism doesn't mean pretending it doesn’t exist. It's like that weird noise your car makes; you know it’s there, but unless it’s screeching to a halt on the freeway, you don’t need to address it immediately. The trick is developing emotional resilience. In our section on Building Emotional Resilience, we’ll dive deeper into strategies that can help you bounce back from negativity stronger than ever.
It’s also vital to surround yourself with a supportive community rather than naysayers. Back in the day, I joined a writers' group where members genuinely wanted to see each other succeed. We gave each other candid feedback without the malice; it was like a refreshing splash of water in a desert of negativity. Having a tribe that lifts you up can be the difference between wallowing in self-doubt and soaring with confidence.
In summary, the knacks of ignoring negative criticism lie in identifying its sources, protecting your well-being, and building that kick-ass emotional resilience. Stay tuned as we untangle these concepts and more – your future self will thank you!
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Be Your Own Critic
Most of the time we are our worst critic. How you appear to others, what you wear, how talented you are, how great a friend you are, etc, are all judged most harshly by you! When someone slams you with a negative comment or critique, it can be easy to take offense. Part of you fears that it may be true based on your own harsh perception of yourself, and thus your fears are being validated in a way. Don't think this way! Instead, recognize that one of the reasons to ignore people's negative criticism is that the real power is held in how you view yourself, not how others view you.
Only Your Loved Ones' Affirmations Matter
It can be easy, especially if you're a particularly driven person, to cling to what others think about you and their affirmation regarding your work. In reality, the only opinions that truly matter are those of family and close friends. This is why it hurts more deeply when loved and trusted people in our lives say mean things! However, most of the time they are the ones who have your back no matter what. So, don't hold tight to the negativity of those who don't know you well and wouldn't be affected by your presence in their lives.
They Are Probably Insecure & Jealous
Often times, negative criticism and hurtful words come from those who are insecure about their own lives and talents. Jealousy is a nasty emotion that spurs people to say mean things and have feelings of contempt towards lovely and beautiful people. Understanding that outlandish and hurtful remarks are generally coming from a place of deep insecurity and jealousy is key in being able to brush them aside without regard.
They Don't Know You
I've found that people who are the most hurtful and critical are the ones who don't know you that well to begin with. It's easy to be critical of people we don't know because our minds like to capture the worst in others- it's the human condition of wanting to be better than everyone else while having everything figured out. We have ALL been there at some point in life, but that doesn't mean this belief is appropriate or beneficial. Instead, choose to believe the best about others, even the people you don't know, because they might be going through something difficult and scary!
You're the Better Person
Quick reactions to hurtful words or deeds are usually ones of anger and retaliation. Unfortunately, using anger and hurt to get back at people for hurting you in the first place is just stooping to their level! You don't look better to them, but instead it probably confirms their initial beliefs about you in the first place. A better approach is to "kill" them with kindness. People don't except a kind response and it may in fact blow them away and allow them to feel guilty for being out of line.
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Mean People Are to Be Pitied
Mean people are the ones who deserve pity because their lives are not full of happiness and joy. If they were, they wouldn't be quick to lash out with negative criticism towards you! I understand that everyone has bad days and on those days, it's easier to say things you don't mean. But you know what? Those people usually follow up with an apology after! If a person is critical of you in a non-constructive way, assume they don't have things easy and just let it go.
Be Confident and Assured in Who You Are
Lastly, and probably most importantly, be assured in who you are and confident in your skills. When you're confident, you're much less likely to feed into negativity and let it affect you. You're also more prone to productivity and success because of the assurance you carry on your shoulders. Remember to also be humble in your abilities, which is far more beneficial than a prideful person unable to accept failure.
Remember that it's all in your attitude, in how you respond to negative criticism! Having a positive outlook means everything in not allowing negativity to weigh you down. Have you had experience with negative criticism? How did you respond?
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