Wondering how to make your compliments sincere? Have you ever found yourself in the awkward position when you offer a compliment to somebody, only for it to come out sounding borderline sarcastic and jokey? Despite your best intentions, perhaps there is something about your delivery or the thing that you have chosen to speak about that has gone down the wrong way on the recipient’s end. This can often be the case if you are a very shy person who isn’t used to a lot of outwardly positive social interaction, but don’t worry, there definitely are things that you can do rectify your unfortunate habit for handing out hollow compliments. Here's how to make your compliments sincere.
Table of contents:
- be authentic
- notice their motivations
- personal qualities
- go deeper
- be specific
- end with a question
- no agenda
- inner beauty
1 Be Authentic
Authenticity is really important when you're practicing how to make your compliments sincere. Whatever you are saying, make sure that you mean it instead of making something up to try to impress. Pick out something about the person that they too can believe you mean. For example, telling somebody they have great hair when they have a hat on isn’t the best idea!
2 Notice Their Motivations
Try to pick up on what the person’s passions and motivations are, and then base your compliments from there. The more you know about them, the more personal and spot on your compliments will be instead of just sticking to broad themes.
3 Personal Qualities
Instead of focusing on the aesthetic side of things for your compliments, instead, try to say things that relate to personality traits. It helps to show that you are really paying attention rather than just looking at the surface.
4 Go Deeper
Try to connect with the person on a much deeper level than just the surface. It’s more than throwing a simple compliment across the office or the apartment, it’s more about making a connection with that person that makes them feel valued and appreciated.
5 Be Specific
Being as specific as you can will help you not to look too uncaring or flippant. Don’t just say ‘you look nice today’, pick something about their outfit or their appearance and make a big deal about it. Once again it shows that you are really taking notice.
6 End with a Question
Don’t just say that you like their hair and then walk away. Use the compliment to start a conversation by ending with a question. “I love your hair today, what products do you use?”. This starts to build a connection that is more than just saying nice things about one another in the hallway.
7 No Agenda
Don’t deliver a compliment and then immediately ask for a favor. That makes the nice thing that you said feel really vacuous and shallow like you have only said it so that they feel they can’t say no to your request.
8 Inner Beauty
Make sure that your compliments aren’t always about external beauty, make sure that you compliment inner beauty as well. If somebody is being particularly kind, compassionate or helpful, make sure that they know it!
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