You never think about tips for getting over a loss until you actually need them. Nothing really prepares you for the loss of a loved one. Whether you know the end is near or it is a total surprise, it still hits you with the force of a hurricane. We know death is a part of living, but we rarely think about it – and why should we. We live to be happy, not to foresee when things come to an end. There’s nothing that can really ease the pain, but there are things you can do to help you recover and move on after a loss.
1. Allow Grief
A good idea for how to bounce back after a loss is to allow yourself time to grieve. Grieving is a natural instinct and process to go through after a big loss, and denying yourself this stage is only going to make for a stunted reaction later on. Grieving is cathartic; wallowing in your sadness for a while can help you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
2. Be Motivated
Try not to get stuck in a rut after you have experienced your loss. Make the decision for the loss to inspire you, whether it is fulfilling certain wishes that they had, being proactive in organizing their remaining affairs or something else; it’s good to be busy.
3. Embrace Sympathy
Try not to push others away in favor of wallowing in your own grief. All of your family and friends will be hurting too, and the healthiest way to come to terms with all of this sadness is to stick together and grieve as a group. When you have people to lean on, things become much easier.
4. Don’t Isolate Yourself
Though it may be tempting, one of the worst things you can do is shut yourself away and be alone with your own thoughts and grief. Even if you don’t feel like it, you should force yourself to interact with those around you. It will feel unnatural for a while but eventually the pieces will come together like a jigsaw and you will feel better and whole again.
5. Be Realistic
Don’t try to do too much too soon. Take each day one at a time and listen to your mind and your body. They will dictate the pace at which you will feel comfortable in your grief. If you need that extra week off work, then don’t hesitate in asking for it.
6. Take Care of Yourself
After experiencing a deep loss, it can be very easy to forget to take care of yourself, but it is vital that you maintain a level of self-care that will help you to get through this period of grief. Remember to eat well, try to sleep well and also try to wash and dress well so that visitors can see you are coping.
7. Make a Plan
The period after a family death can be very confusing, with lots of plans to be made while you are still grieving. To help ease this pressure, try to make a plan that you can refer to that will keep you on track with all of the organizing that needs to be done.
8. Sense of Purpose
It can often feel like you are treading water after a loss with no clear sense of direction. No matter what it is, try to give your life some purpose so that you can envision a future beyond the current grief that you are feeling.
9. Guilt-Free Future
It’s important that you give yourself permission to be happy again once the period of loss has passed. Some people get stuck feeling guilty about loss and wasted time forever, but you need to remember that you are still alive, and you deserve a bright future.
The saying that time heals is very true and relevant, but there's no reason not to hurry along the healing process.