Sometimes a few helpful pieces of advice can make a world of difference in your life. If you’re in a situation where you can’t be close to your mom, these are some helpful pieces of advice on how to deal. You may not be able to be close to your mom because she’s passed away or it may be because your relationship is less than ideal. Either way, finding ways to cope are important.
1. Accept Your Relationship as It is
First up in the helpful pieces of advice is to accept your relationship as it is with your mom. If you’ve done all you can to improve your relationship, acceptance is the next step. Your conscience is clear. Acceptance offers you freedom to move on. This’s a good thing.
2. Find a Mentor
If you can’t be close to your mom because she’s passed away or it just isn’t possible, you need to find a mentor. Basically you need someone who has love, compassion and wisdom to offer you. Many times a mentor is somewhat older. This person can be a bit of a mother figure to you. They’ll never be your mom but they can help fill in those gaps.
3. Give Yourself Credit
It isn’t easy when you’ve lost your mom or you can’t be close to her. You don’t have the advantage of having a mom to support and advise you. But you know what? You’ve probably still done great for yourself. It’s good to take a look in the mirror and realize what a wonderful person you’ve turned out to be anyway.
4. Focus on the Blessings in Your Life
It’s all too easy to focus on not having a mom to be close to. But it’s good to shift your focus. Think about what you do have. Maybe you have great friends, an amazing job or a devoted husband and precious children. Your life isn’t empty without a mom to be close to. She’s only one part of it.
5. Find Healthy Boundaries
If your mom is still in the picture but you can’t be close to her, it’s good to decide on some healthy boundaries. You need them in place to protect yourself if she’s unkind or abusive to you. Maybe you can handle seeing her on a few occasions a year. Perhaps it’s better if you email than call. Think about what you can reasonably handle and build your boundaries from there.
6. Determine to do Better
If you have a daughter of your own and your relationship with your mom has been difficult, you may worry about your relationship with your daughter. You don’t have to repeat the cycle. Chances are high that you won’t. If you make a decision to learn from your relationship with your mom then you can end up having an amazing relationship with your own daughter. This’s a way something good can come from something bad.
7. Know Your Worth
If your mom has made you feel that you’re unimportant, you need to reprogram your mind. Those things are not true of anyone. Each individual matters and has wonderful qualities to them. Tell yourself that you’re valuable as many times as you need to until you believe it. If you’ve done your best to have a relationship with your mom and it just isn’t possible, then know she’s the one missing out.
These are 7 pieces of advice when you can’t be close to your mom. Which piece of advice is most helpful to you? I’d love to hear from you.