No matter how much you might like to deny or ignore it, the truth is that we all feel insecure at times in our lives. A lot of this insecurity is often caused by the different types of relationships that you have, from romantic to platonic to professional. If you feel insecure in a relationship, you are much more likely to be taken advantage of, and that isn’t the kind of relationship that you need in your life. Here are some suggestions for ways to stop feeling insecure in your relationships.
1. Stop Mind Reading
Stop going through the process of attempting to read someone’s mind, because you rarely ever get things right! Rather than being a revelatory exercise, it only results in you making false assumptions about the person and building up a picture of them without their knowledge. And this picture is so often the complete opposite of what the truth is.
2. Lower Expectations
Perhaps you have expectations for friendships and romances that are too high, always in search of the perfect partner or perfect friend. Because you look for this, and you feel that you aren’t perfect yourself, there is an automatic insecurity that arises. If you can stop aiming for unachievable relationship goals, you won’t feel so insecure.
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3. Past Baggage
You need to stop judging your current relationships based on things that might have happened in previous ones, it isn’t fair on the people in your life now and it isn’t productive for you either. Holding on to past baggage and grudges can make perfectly fine current day relationships turn toxic, so do your best to live in the present.
4. Stop Inventing Problems
It’s a form of self sabotage, inventing problems that wouldn’t even be a concern otherwise. A classic sign of insecure people is that they can’t cope with things going well for them, and their minds always come up with ways to interfere with this happiness by formulating issues and obstacles that aren’t even real.
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5. Stop Focusing on Negatives
We all have negative thoughts and things in our lives, the trick is to not let those aspects overwhelm all of the positivity. Whenever you find yourself getting bogged down in a negative thought spiral, try to concentrate on all of the positive and happy things that have come out of your current relationships. It’s all about winning the balance battle.
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Alexia: Can anxiety cause insecurity?
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EST 2005
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