Respect should be high up your list of priorities and expectations of what you want from your boyfriend/husband. But you can’t just expect it by right. You need to earn it through your actions and personality and not just demand it because you think you deserve it. Of course, this goes both ways, but let’s take a look at some the things you shouldn’t do if you want a man to respect you.
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1. Do Not Put EVERYBODY First!
This is one of the things you shouldn't do if you want a man to respect you. It is something you shouldn’t do if you want anybody to respect you! There are so many women that put others first for no reason at all. Why can’t you come first? Why are you always the last to matter by default? Question your female friends and they will give you hundreds of reasons why they put everybody else before themselves: “I want to be nice”, “it's good to be liked”, “it’s mean to be selfish”, “I’m a caring person”, “I hate seeing others suffer”, etc. etc. etc. Do you recognize any of those excuses? None of them are reasons why you cannot put yourself first. Those people you are putting first - why don’t they feel guilty as you should think you should? How come they are “not nice” as you would be if you put yourself first?
2. Do Not Tease a Man if He is Too Immature to Understand It
This is not a piece of advice saying you should not tease men in a sexual way. Teasing is a way of building arousal, tension and sexual chemistry. Used in a mature and responsible way it can lead to a very intense and satisfying sex life. However! There are some men that are too immature to handle teasing and there are some women that only use teasing as a weapon for their personal amusement. An immature man will react badly to teasing and some will even move towards abuse or even rape because they feel they were being led on and tormented. Use teasing maturely and not as a way of annoying and frustrating men for your own amusement because even a timid and weak man can turn dangerous.
Frequently asked questions
Respect is like the foundation of any relationship. Without it, things can fall apart really quickly. It shows that you value each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries. When there's mutual respect, the relationship is much healthier.
One big mistake is trying too hard to please the other person. When you don't set boundaries or act like you're always available, it can sometimes make them take you for granted instead of respecting you.
Absolutely! It's definitely possible to regain someone's respect. It usually involves being honest, addressing past issues, and perhaps changing some behaviors that might have eroded that respect in the first place.
Being open and honest in communication is super important. When you express your thoughts and feelings clearly, it helps the other person understand where you’re coming from. This lays the groundwork for respect to grow.
Honestly, it’s really tough. Respect is key to trust and understanding, which are essential. Without it, the relationship might suffer or even end because one or both people could feel undervalued or ignored.
3. Do Not Wear Too Much Makeup
As a woman it is your right to do as you wish within the freedom of the law, but you should understand that certain actions lead to certain presumptions. Some men may presume you wear a lot of makeup because you are insecure. Others may assume it is because you are “easy” or because you are actively seeking sex or a man. Porn stars are caked in makeup because it aligns with presumptions and prejudices that men have. You may find it hard to gain the respect of a man and other women if you plaster yourself with makeup and then walk around claiming you are just being you.
4. Do Not Cry if You Want to Be Respected
This is not because crying is bad or unhealthy; it is because it is a trait that shows weakness in some men’s eyes. Our culture still insists that a man be strong, and weak men are often viewed as effeminate. Crying is associated with weakness in all but a few cases. If a guy in a movie tries to save his girlfriend and she dies in his arms, then he is allowed to shed a single tear. If a guy in a movie is yelled at by his boss, he is not expected to burst into tears. Do not cry, or at least do not cry in front of men, as it is a sign of weakness (even if the act itself isn’t one of weakness). Tears are not a weapon!
5. Do Not Sleep with a Man to Make Him Love You
He may use you, he may grow affection for you, but he will never love you if you lead the relationship with sex. You can catch a man with sex, but you can’t keep him. Have sex with a guy to make him love you and you lose his respect. He will soon be taking daytrips to see his ex-girlfriend with whom he is “still friends.”
6. Do Not Make Excuses for Your Mistakes
This is a sign of weakness that both men and women exhibit. You do not have to be proud of your mistakes, but you should own them. You cannot wear them with pride as you may with your achievements, but you can certainly own them with integrity and honor.
7. Stop Doing Everything Your Boyfriend Says
He is not the king of the world. He may get into a mood or a strop if you do not play along, but he does that because he doesn’t respect you. Do everything he says--and you give him no “reason” to respect you.
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If you cave to his every whim, you're setting a precedent that your needs and wishes come second. Stand your ground and assert your opinions. Mutual respect flourishes when both partners acknowledge and celebrate each other's individuality. Remember, a relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Find your voice and don't be afraid to use it. Respect is a two-way street, and it starts with respecting yourself enough to say no.
8. Do Not Dress Sexily if You Are Going to Get Frustrated at Men Looking at You
Dress as you wish. If religious attacks and extremists have taught us anything, it is that we should be proud of the freedom we have to dress, act and sing the way we do without the “police of vice and virtue” arresting you for a stoning. Still, if you do dress in a sexy way, then you have to understand that immature men will lust after you and will look at you in an inappropriate way. It is the consequence of your actions as men are visual creatures and you are giving them something to look at. Again, do not be ashamed of your body and dress as sexily as you like, it is your free right to do so, but if you lay meat at your doorstep, do not be surprised if a few dogs come sniffing.
9. Do Not Throw Tantrums
Have you ever seen a woman throw a childish tantrum? Did you respect her when she did? If you have never seen it, then wait in the parking lot of a talent show (X Factor, American Idol etc) and watch the people coming out. A tantrum featuring, “You don’t believe in me” is commonplace outside talent shows.
10. Do Not Raise Your Voice to Get Your Own Way
Some women get their own way with sexual manipulation of men, others cry, others throw tantrums and some raise their voice. If you are the type of woman that has to raise her voice to get what she wants, then you need to stop. It is a very negative feedback loop that is pushing you further and further away from other people. They do not respect you in real life; they simply act that way to shut you up. The more you shout, the less they respect you, so the more you need to shout to get your own way. If you had other peoples’ respect, you wouldn’t have to shout to get your own way.
11. Do Not Have a Child to Make a Man Love You
This has to be the worst idea ever, yet there are so many women out there that do it. There are millions of single mothers out there that thought having a child would improve or rescue a relationship. The worst ones are the ones Judge Judy mentions in her books. She worked in family courts and had hundreds of cases with young women where they said their boyfriend needed a child with her to prove her love and loyalty. If you need to prove your love, then maybe you should start by working on getting a little respect first. Do not have a child to prove you love someone!
12. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Women do this all the time. We do it with celebrities and with friends. It involves comments such as, “I wish I had Jenny’s thighs”, “Beth got job above me because she slept with the boss”, “Her shoes are so much better than mine”, “She‘s got looks, but I‘ve got brains”, “I would do better if I had her figure/ boobs/ ass/ money/ career/ boyfriend…” Comparing yourself to others is a sign of deep-seated insecurity, just as pulling down others is too. Some people will not understand why you compare yourself to others, but the ones that do understand will see what an insecure and pathetic child you are and you will lose “all” the respect that person ever had for you. If you cannot appreciate your own qualities you do not deserve respect.
13. STOP PUTTING YOURSELF down!
It is Dave Chappelle (of all people) that said if women were a stock (as in stocks and shares) that their price would be way down. He is not saying that women are cheap or of low value; he is saying that women have seemingly forgotten how amazing we are. Some of us put so little value in ourselves as a person, our thoughts, ideas, opinions and personal power that we make ourselves valueless to both ourselves and the people around us. Stop putting yourself down, especially in front of other people. How can “anybody” respect you if you keep telling them reasons why they shouldn’t?
You should have realized by now that many of these relate not just to having respect from men but also from women. And also remember, respect from others starts with having respect for yourself. I’d love to hear from you about other ways women may not do themselves any favors in gaining respect.
Comments
Cammy: Who the fuck cares I wear as much makeup I want this isn't the 1500s it's 2015 I don't wear makeup for men i do for myself
Olivia: @shanelle - I wouldn't go as far as saying "victims ask for it" but I would say there are things potential victims can do to keep themselves safe... Don't drink (alcohol is involved in 50% of sexual assaults) stay with a group, make sure someone knows where you are, and just use common sense. Rape is a horrible thing and no one should have to go through it... I am not victim blaming, I am just pointing out some ways to avoid a risky situation.
Shanelle: @dolapo I'm just saying that the way girls dress can SOMETIMES be a cause of them being assaulted. For goodness sake everyone I'm not saying that it's the case all the time just sometimes. I'm sorry that you got raped and I understand that dressing inappropriately isn't always the cause. I'm saying that it is sometimes the cause.
Dee: @shanelle Jesus woman...you have been brain washed. Nope. Nope. Nope. Way to propagate victim blaming. You should be ashamed of yourself. It does not matter what a woman wears. Period. A man has NO RIGHT to touch without permission, and if he ignores that and does it anyway, it is ABSOLUTELY ASSAULT/RAPE. Even if the girl is butt ass naked. You are exactly what is wrong with this world. Shame on you.
Katelyn: Don't cry because some men view this as a sign of weakness? How about cry if you want or need to and if a guy sees that as weak, don't date that guy.
Sherri: Ok, I understand that to get respect you need to give someone something to respect BUT don't wear too much makeup, don't cry, don't dress a certain way or say certain things bc you'll lose respect? I think that you should always be true to yourself and the right person will love and respect you as AN INDIVIDUAL! And btw flirting or teasing don't warrant getting tape nor does dressing 'sexy' and getting harassed! Come on!
Cass: This article is absolutely ridiculous. CRY if you want to, be yourself!! If you wanna wear a lot of make up do it! If a man doesn't respect you because you cry and wear a lot of makeup then screw him! Complete bullshit. If a man isn't going to respect you for those reasons, then he isn't a real man and you shouldn't want to be with him.
SleepyWillo: So you don’t deserve respect if your not confident and love yourself? Lol okay whatever you say
Celinda: What's wrong with not wearing makeup?? Just because some of you feel better with makeup doesn't mean every other girl does too. I hate powders and all that crap on my face, I dont like it! If you wanna wear makeup go for it, and if you don't it's fine too :)
ronny: I thought this was ok until I read number 4. Women shouldn't cry because some men think it's a bad trait. What a load of rubbish. Who cares what a man thinks. He's not a real man if he can't understand a woman's tears. A woman cries when she's hurting or
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