17 Realistic πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ New Year's Resolutions for 2017 πŸ—“ ...

1k
COMMENT

New Year's resolutions are terrible.

I won't say they're the worst because, you know, they're not, but they're still pretty heinous.

Everyone automatically expects you to make them and you probably just expect yourself to make them, too.

The thing is, everyone makes the same sorts of resolutions every year – lose weight, eat healthy, stop smoking, join the gym, stop wasting money – and by February, if not sooner, they're already failed endeavors.

Then you just spend the rest of the winter feeling terrible about yourself for not having any willpower or goals.

What would happen if we made the resolutions we really wanted to, instead of the ones we're supposed to make?

I think it'd go a little something like this …

1. Pet as Many Animals as You Can

Pet as Many Animals as You Can

Why?

Because when you pet a puppy (or a kitten, or a bunny, or a ferret), you're practically guaranteed a smile.

2. Lose Some Weight

Lose Some Weight

Well, I mean, it's a common enough New Year's resolution, right?

3. ...then Gain It Back Again

...then Gain It Back Again

This is also a common resolution, but only because it happens so damn often.

You always gain it back, always!

I blame Valentine's Day and chocolate.

4. Think up an Excuse for Not Starting Yoga

Think up an Excuse for Not Starting Yoga

Well, if starting yoga is one of your resolutions, you might as well get a head start on coming up with an excuse to explain why you haven't done it yet.

5. Waste Money on a Gym Membership You Never Use

Waste Money on a Gym Membership You Never Use

The idea behind paying for a gym membership – that you won't possibly waste something you've spent money on – is a good one ...

in theory.

In practice, however, it's way, way too easy to let that membership go to waste.

6. Spend a Day Pretending like You're Really Going to Quit Social Media

Spend a Day Pretending like You're Really Going to Quit Social Media

You know, spend a day not posting, sharing, liking, or tweeting, even though you're reading your timeline and refreshing your newsfeed every fifteen minutes.

Don't Eat Your Weight in Doughnuts
Explore more ...