Takeaway: How do I be more emotionally independent?
Being emotionally independent is something that many people struggle with, but which anyone can learn how to do. Many of the ways in which you can do this come with practise and happen over time, so it's important to have patience above anything else. Use the following 7 tips to become more emotionally independent, starting today!
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1. Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness
You've probably heard this many times, but it has a lot of truth to it so I'm going to say it again. It's incredibly easy to become reliant on someone else, and soon enough you start to think that they are responsible for your happiness. Don't feel bad if you've done this, because so have I and many other people. The best thing you can do here is give yourself a reality check and remember that you are in control of your life as well as responsible for it - no one else. If you're unhappy it's your job to do something about it and to find happiness again.
2. Don't Get Too Attached to Other People
Sometimes this can happen without you even realising and can be completely unintentional, which makes it all the more tricky. The only advice I can give here is to make sure you don't get too invested in the people in your life and don't let yourself have an unhealthy attachment towards anyone. Try to keep yourself separate from other people as best you can; you are your own person and you have your own life outside of your friendship or relationship with particular people.
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3. Make Your Own Decisions
When we're young almost all decisions are made for us, so learning to make our own is definitely a part of growing up and something that we all have to start doing, however, this is for a very good reason. Making your own decisions is a sure sign of being emotionally independent; you have the ability to decide for yourself and are taking responsibility for the choices you make. Someone who relies on others and is not emotionally independent will often try to pass the decision onto someone else, partly so that they can't be accountable if it ends up being the wrong decision.
4. Find Your Own Solutions
Just like having the ability to make your own decisions, you should also be able to find your own solutions to issues, problems or anything else that needs solving. Sure, you can ask other people for advice, but refrain from passing the problem onto them and thinking it's also their problem and they need to help find a solution...you have to remember that it's not and they don't. It's up to you to think about what can fix the problem you're facing, and to do what you need to do to solve it or make it better.
5. Practise Being Independent
It's easy to be influenced by other people when you're around them 24/7, and sometimes it can even become difficult to separate yourself from them. Balance this out by spending plenty of time with yourself and by yourself, doing anything that you love such as hobbies, interests or even just using the time to self-reflect quietly. Having time to yourself is incredibly important to becoming more independent in a general sense, thus also helping you to become emotionally independent.
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6. Control Your Emotions
If you're a rather emotional person, like I am, then this is even more important for you to learn how to do. You should always be in control of your emotions, not them in control of you. People who are emotionally independent understand this and that's often why they are not overly-emotional and they know when to let their emotions show as well as not. This comes with practise, but you still have to stay aware of your emotional side to ensure it doesn't get the better of you and end up being in control.
7. Have a Good Understanding of Yourself
Many people that are not emotionally independent are insecure within themselves and that's what gives them the urge to rely on someone else. However, if you have a good understanding of yourself and you know who you are, then it's very unlikely that you will feel the need to lean on anyone else along the way. Think about it this way: emotional independency is when you feel content with yourself, including the good, the bad and everything in between.
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