Since depression is one the most common affective disorders now days, you should consider the worst things to say to someone who is depressed. You don’t want to hurt their feelings or make them feel even more miserable. Even though you think you are only trying to help (and I admire you for that), you should still pay attention to what you are saying. Despite your good intentions, you might still say a few inappropriate things that may offend the person you are trying to help. Here are some of the worst things to say to someone who is depressed.
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1. “There Are so Many Things You Should Be Happy about”
In my opinion, this is definitely one of the worst things to say to someone who is depressed. Someone who suffers from depression cannot identify the wonderful things that happens to them. This is actually one of the main symptoms of this affective disorder. No matter how hard you are trying to point out to them how lucky or how blessed they really are, they can’t realize it. Don't annoy them by telling them this.
2. “There Are People Who Feel Even Worse then You do”
This is also one of the things that said at a wrong time, could offend someone who suffers from this horrible disorder. Everyone has to face problems on a daily basis, but depressed people are actually overwhelmed by them, no matter how small you think they are. By saying this to someone who suffers from depression, you could make them feel even more guilty for not being able to solve their problems.
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3. “It’s All in Your Head!”
Well, guess what? They already know this but still, they feel like there’s nothing they can do about it. You’re definitely not helping them by pointing this out to them. You’ll only manage to annoy or upset them and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to do that. Try to support them and always be on their side and you’ll help hem more than you might think.
4. “I Don’t Even Know Who You Are Anymore”
This is definitely one of the things you should avoid saying to someone who suffers from depression. You see, THEY don’t even know who they are anymore, so don't make them feel worse by confirming what they already know. They might think that they will never feel better again or that they’ve changed so much that nobody will love them anymore. This phrase might hurt them more than you can imagine so keep it to yourself!
5. “I Thought You Were Stronger than That”
I really believe this phrase could hurt anyone’s feelings, not to mention someone who suffers from an affective disorder. It’s really inappropriate to say this and if you think that you are encouraging them to feel better again, you are actually not. You’ll only make them feel not good enough or even more incapable of doing certain things and they might even feel even more depressed afterwards.
6. “No One Ever Said Life Was Fair”
This is not news to them. They already know this and that doesn’t prevent them from feeling sad and miserable all the time. Depression is an affective disorder that has physiological causes. Even though you are might repeat this statement to someone who is depressed, you won’t make them feel any better. Depression is not a choice and it’s pretty hard to overcome, yet not impossible. Just be there by at their side and fight the battle with them! Give them your unconditional love and support if you are really trying to help.
7. “Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!”
Need I remind you that no one wants or chooses to feel depressed? Depression is a disorder that affects many people from all walks of life now days. Just be empathetic and try to understand and accept them just the way they are without being judgmental. No one likes to feel miserable all day long and they can’t simply stop just because you tell them to, either.
There are a lot of inappropriate things people might say to someone who suffers from depression. Have you ever regretted saying one of those things to somebody close to you who is depressed? What are other things people shouldn’t say to someone who suffers from this affective disorder? Please share your advice with us in the comments section!
Sources:
psychcentral.com
thoughtcatalog.com
Comments
Adria: Say you will always be there for them and you understand it's difficult and you hope they will find a way to get help and feel better
Profnerd: Don't ask the depressed to go for a walk if she doesn't like to walk.
Sara: I hate when they tell me to just get over it! It's not just a thing that I can't get over, it's so much more and nobody ever seems to understand
Jaydee: this article is spot on. I've been diagnosed with depression and even though I know pple r generally unintentional, they often think that depressed pple r just pple who blow things out of proportion and are a bunch of dramatic self pitying people.
Nellie: Sometimes it's best to not say anything at all and just be there for them and support them through your actions
Victoria: I'm told all of this every single day and it kills me
BeautifulDanger: As a girl with horrible depression I can appreciate this,I had depression since I could remember,I hated school and often skipped cause I never wanted to go,I lost friends cause I closed them out and didn't want their help,depression is a bitch it's a constant battle with yourself
Sumi: I hate when they say "snap out of it"!
Alison: I agree with these, but what are some things you CAN say? I realize that usually just listening to someone can help them tremendously. But eventually they expect you to say SOMETHING. Any thoughts/suggestions from anyone?
Rachel: Why say it is all in our head and we know that. It is a chemical imbalance, it is not just made up. We can't just snap out of it or eat some chocolate and all is well again. It is physically, emotionally and mentally disabling. I've had this throughout my life and it is a constant battle. I have good and bad days but I will never let it beat me. Thanks for bringing this subject up. Peace to everyone suffering from this cruel condition. xx
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