5 Stages of Coming to Terms with Your Sexuality ...


5 Stages of Coming to Terms with Your Sexuality ...
5 Stages of Coming to Terms with Your Sexuality ...

Realizing your gay is one thing, but accepting it in the beginning is a whole other thing. There are some stages of coming to terms with your sexuality that you're naturally going to go through.

When I was in the process of coming out, I felt that what I was doing was wrong and it took me a while to figure out that I was born this way.

So here are the stages of coming to terms with your sexuality when you're first coming to terms with being gay.

(Disclaimer: this is based off of opinion and personal experience).

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Praying the Gay Away

Once upon a time I grew up in the Mormon church.
I was 15 when I came out to my mom and for a long time I tried to pray the gay away. This is something that you will commonly hear from other members in the LGBT community who were also brought up in a religious upbringing. Praying the gay away will probably be the first of many stages of coming to terms with your sexuality that you'll go through.


Acting Straight

For awhile after I knew I was gay, I was in denial and I got myself a boyfriend. I acted straight for about a year and a half.

This is another common thing that happens. When you're in denial of being gay, you want to feel normal and be just like everyone else, so you go ahead and date guys anyway. Also, my first kiss was with a boy.


Coming out as Bisexual

When I was a sophomore in high school I came out as Bi to a lot of my friends. Previously I had said I was gay, but then I took it back and said I was Bi. Since for a huge part of my life I was "straight," I wanted to still feel like I could have "crushes" on boys. Funny thing is, I've never had a legit crush on a boy and I'm a complete lesbian. I was just scared and uncomfortable with my sexual preference. It's crazy to see what fear can cause a person to do.


Telling Yourself It's Just a Phase

I was in such denial that I told myself that what was going on was just a phase and it would pass right on through. One thing that I have learned is that who you are isn't a phase, so there's no point in denying or hiding yourself.


Finally Accepting Yourself

After denying to myself for a while, I finally came around to accepting the fact that being gay is who I am and that's okay.

Gay is okay and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. After you go through with being able to accept and love yourself,
others will be more likely to accept you as well.

Don't come out of the closet until you're comfortable with who you are as a person.

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It does get better, I came out in 2003. My partner Paula and I have been together ever since.

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