Playing the victim card is not a choice that will take you very far. At best, you will gain some momentary sympathy but you will lose even that when people figure out your true game. We all have times when something bad does happen to us and we feel victimized, but that is different from truly playing the victim card as a lifestyle choice. Below are the signs that you may be playing the victim instead of truly just experiencing something difficult.
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1. It’s All about You
One sign that you may be playing the victim card is that it’s all about you. Whatever is going on, you can only consider yourself. Of course, sometimes things truly are about you but not all the time. A lot of times events affect more than one person. A person who plays the victim card can’t get past themselves to realize other people matter, too.
2. You Don’t Think of Other People’s Feelings
Going hand in hand with feeling like everything is all about you is not thinking of other people’s feelings. All you can think about is your own. You do not have the ability to empathize with how others may feel. You don’t put yourself in their shoes. You are not caring about the fact that others may be hurt. If you feel this is true of you, begin trying to think how others are feeling.
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3. You Blame Others a Lot
Blaming others a lot is something people do when they play the victim card. Sometimes things truly are the fault of other people, but that isn’t always the case. Are you quick to point fingers? You may be playing the victim card.
4. You like Your Pity Parties
We all have a pity party and feel sorry for ourselves from time to time. Life truly is tough and an occasional pity party is nothing to worry over. But if you feel sorry for yourself a lot, you may be playing the victim card. The good thing is that if you see any of these tendencies in yourself, you can work on them. You don’t have to continue playing the victim.
5. You Focus on How Bad You Have It
Life is full of joy and heartache. Into each life, some of both usually fall. If you can only focus on how bad you have had it, you may be playing the victim. Try to look at your blessings. Usually whatever you focus on grows.
6. You Aren’t Good at Accepting Responsibility
If you struggle with accepting responsibility for your actions, you could have an issue with playing the victim card. Part of being a mature adult means that you accept responsibility when you make a mistake. Mistakes are human. Everyone makes them. But blaming others or justifying why you chose the actions you did is not a sign of maturity.
7. You Have an Excuse for Everything
Do you have an excuse for everything? For example, you are late because others drove too slowly or your writing is messy because you are tired. While sometimes you can explain that things affected whatever occurred, you shouldn’t have an excuse for everything. Be a big enough person to admit if you made an error in judgment or you did something poorly. This reflects on you better than making excuses.
Do you think that you play the victim card? What do you plan to do to make changes in your life? It is never too late to work on improving yourself.
Comments
sandy: Know way too many people like this. Thank god they don't directly effect my life
sandy: Just the others I care most about.
Tammy: #2 Actually, a person in our lives did for the other person to get validation for "all she does for him". These fo;ks DO a lot for others, but their motive is for self. If she were doing it for love, she might not have been skimming off 2-3000 a month into a secret account to "pay" herself.
Tubi: My bf has these qualities -.- and I can't seem to change that
duje: I was once like this until i realised how selfish it is to self pity and also drag others down
duje: Its called 'poor me'. These sort of people are lacking an energy and thats wen they try to take other positive energy by reactions. Keep your positive for yourself dont use it on these kind of people.
Rebecca: I have been accused of playing a victim card by my siblings- I have multiple sclerosis. MS is a chronic progressive disease and is incurable. My siblings plan family events in the middle of summer when heat and humidity reign- due to MS I have a low tolerance for heat. I was accused of playing the “victim card” when I didn’t participate in activities. The temperate was 95F with 65% humidity.
Sheelagh: Its called being a grownup
Brandi: My friend has many of these qualities I keep saying it's not about hit but he doesn't get it.
missalliedee: I have a friend like this....but I called her out on it after a huge blow up so she seems to be more aware of it now. The handwriting thing is a touchy subject for me because I have professors who mark me down for my handwriting, but if I try to have good handwriting, I don't finish in-class assignments because I'm writing slowly so that my handwriting is good. What's a girl to do? Sigh...
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