It's horrible when you feel unloved. This is something that happens to everyone at various times in their life. You can be single or in a relationship when this happens. You might even feel as though you are not worth loving at all. But you shouldn't feel like this; it's not true, and you're almost certainly loved very deeply. Here's what to do when you feel unloved …
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1. You Are Worth Loving
When you feel unloved, you should remind yourself that you are worth loving. That doesn't mean being egotistic and thinking you're wonderful, as some people fear. It means seeing value in yourself and knowing that you have attractive qualities. Tell yourself this repeatedly, so that the lesson starts to sink in.
2. Everybody is Loved by Someone
Everybody has somebody that loves them - and indeed, more than one person. Perhaps you need to remind yourself of that; it's all too easy to take someone for granted when they're a constant presence in your life. But it's certain that there is someone who does love you very much.
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3. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Few people are intrinsically unlovable. But we often feel unloved because we have told ourselves so many times that we are not loved. The message becomes absorbed to the point that we believe it. We then project an unlovable image. Stop right now if you are doing this to yourself. We are often our own worst enemy!
4. It's Normal
Feeling unloved at times is perfectly normal. We all go through times of feeling that nobody cares about us, even though it's not true. It's easy to forget how many people do care about us. Perhaps you should tell your friends and family that you love them - they may be feeling unloved as well.
5. Love Takes Many Forms
Love is often taken to mean that between partners, but there are many other forms. Of course, we want to feel that we are loved by someone special, but that's not the only way of being loved. Your family loves you; so do your friends, and even your pets. Just because people don't say it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. There are probably quite a few people who love you dearly, so enjoy that feeling of knowing that you are surrounded by love..
6. Self-Pity
Sometimes, feeling you are unloved can take the form of self-pity. "I'll never find anyone to love me!" you cry. Well, feeling sorry for yourself won't help matters. You won't come across as terribly attractive. So lay off the self-pity and start feeling more confident about yourself.
7. You Should Love Yourself
Yes, you really do need a healthy self-image for anyone else to love you. Who is going to care about someone who doesn't have a very high opinion of themself? Loving yourself isn't about being a bighead, but being comfortable in your own skin and confident.
It's natural to feel sometimes that you are unloved, but if this starts to take over you can feel downhearted and lonely. You may just need to make a mental list of the people who do care about you a lot. Few people are truly alone in the world; if there aren't many people that you're close to, start building your confidence and then set about drawing positive people into your life. How did you deal with feeling unloved?
Comments
Megh: Who is going to care about someone who doesn\'t have a high opinion of themselves? The person who loves them enough to bring them out of doubt and show them that they are indeed worth it. Some people need someone to help lift their spirits hence the feeling of being unloved.
Joani: I once had a horrible experience with a man I had lived with for five years and expected to marry! First, i found out he was having an affair- with a young pretty woman who was MARRIED, he\'d been being intimate with her- in MY CAR! I got her # and called her husband and then started asking my lover WHY?? He said, \"I feel the same way about you now that I have always felt.\" That was like a punch to the gut. Then he said what almost killed me. \"You know I\'ve never been all that attracted to you.\" Well, after he left/was kicked out I cried for weeks. Nothing helped, this was the man I planned to marry. All my friends tried to help, but you don\'t stop loving someone in a moment- no matter how hideous that moment may have been! Finally I had to go on with my life. I sat and thought about what he\'d said and slowly realized what a lying, self-deluding jerk he was! Why, we couldn\'t keep our hands off each other for years. We finished each other\'s sentences and he loved the way I looked. He was the one who had issues like tissues, spending more time prepping to go out than any woman I\'d ever lived with! I had never had problems with dating/attracting men and even now, when I felt like a wet dishrag, former male friends were suddenly much more friendly. So, after taking stock, I decided I wouldn\'t date for a while. Less than 6 months later I met my husband of now 12 years! So when someone says horrid things about you, maybe they\'re talking about their own fears instead! Oh- saw a pic of him online several months ago- not only was he very heavy, and working in a fairly menial job with three kids, he actually dyed his beard white under the jawline to try and cover his second chin! Ha-ha-ha!!!!
Cessna: This is all true. I\'m gonna share this to my friends :)
Megh: I\'ve been crying for the last hour bc I do not love myself. Guilt is the worst feeling in the world. Plz be happy everyone bc there is always someone who will miss you and there is always someone out there who does love you.
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