If you’re in a pit of despair and feeling unloved or alone, be assured, there are ways to overcome loneliness. No-one should underestimate how loneliness can impact your well-being. As humans we are not meant to be solitary creatures. We are social creatures who might sometimes need to find some “alone” time. Loneliness doesn’t just mean not having a partner, or no friends. Loneliness can mean you are without affirmation, someone to make you feel good, someone to bounce ideas off, someone to simply interact with, or someone to connect with on any level. Ways to overcome loneliness should tackle all the issues you face connected with it.
1. Realize That There is No Such Thing as Lonely
Ever wondered how some people can live in isolation for years, and others have trouble if they don’t see people over a weekend. You need to realize that people who are lonely are often feeling that way because of an internal feeling of incompleteness. Before you go looking for ways to overcome loneliness, you should look at your life and the way it is going, and change so that you do not need other people to feel complete. People who are focused, confident in themselves, or just plain busy, are never lonely.
2. Schedule an Activity, but do Not Use the Internet
Some people are going to tell you to use the Internet in order to connect with other people. But, it does not work, as online conversations and friends will not make you feel less lonely. Only use the Internet to find people or events where you meet people in person. Talking all night on the Internet with perfect strangers is not how to overcome loneliness as it will end up making you feel more isolated--not less. Instead, schedule an activity every week, such as pub crawls on Saturdays, or sports centre on Sundays. Think about where other lonely people tend to congregate, such as salsa lessons, and go there.
3. Learn How to Interact with People
This means figuring out what other people do, say, and how they act around other people. The harder you commit to this, then the more progress you will make. Look at how other people hold themselves and act. Look beyond words, because words do not matter. Get videos of other people interacting in real life, and video yourself interacting in real life. Look at how you stand and act, and compare it to others. If you can find a friend who is outgoing and popular, then hang around that person, as their ways will rub off on you.
4. Hop onto a Dating Site or Join a Class
If you are single, then one of the most popular ways to overcome loneliness is to hop on a dating site and start meeting people. There are a lot of weirdoes on the sites, and lots of people with fake accounts, so be careful how you go, but, there are also genuine people on there too. If you are with someone, then join a class and make friends. You may even take your partner along with you too.
5. What is Missing from Your Life?
If you feel lonely, then your first answer to what is missing may be “people”, but there are often numerous things missing that are being misinterpreted. A person who works all the time may be missing romance, passion, competition, or just a good activity that allows them to unwind. This feeling of being trapped by what is lacking may be misinterpreted as loneliness. A person whose life is all about his or her kids may simply be missing adult conversation with someone outside of the family. It may not actually be loneliness that is bothering you; just the things you are missing that is causing these feelings.
6. Be Aware That What You Say May Not Be What People Want to Hear
Boring people do not know they are boring, and annoying people do not know they are annoying. It is going to take some deep research, but examine what you say and do that may be scaring people away. All sorts of people can create their own loneliness through their personality. A person who boasts all the time will often do so through deep insecurity. People react negatively and passively to people who boast, which is often interpreted by the boaster as all the more reason to feel insecure. Do people not engage your opinion because they do not like you, or is it because your stories or responses are too long, or too laden with details?
7. Feelings of Loneliness May Be Coming from Base Internal Drives
How to overcome loneliness starts with understanding it. What if a feeling did not originate from your conscious mind? Our base instincts make us feel things all the time, and if you are aware of this fact, then you can control it. If you are a woman, then ask yourself why small details are so upsetting during your time of the month. A man however, might ask himself why he gets angry at the table when he stubs his toe on it. Also, we are pack animals, so our base instincts tell us to huddle into groups. If you know that this is why you feel lonely, then you see how you may alter your mood and control your seemingly irrational emotion.
I firmly believe that the ways to overcome loneliness will only work if you understand why you are lonely and also, want to overcome it. I’m a solitary person, but I’m not lonely. What about you? Are you lonely or have you overcome a period of loneliness. How did you break away from it?