You aren’t alone in needing some ways to stop being so self-judgmental. As we go through life from one experience to the next, it might be fair to say that, on the whole, it is us as individuals who can be our own worst critics. Because you have such big ambitions and high expectations for yourself, it can often be very disappointing when things don’t turn out exactly like you wanted. The instinctual reaction to a period like this is to judge yourself really harshly. Listen girlfriend, there is more than enough negative energy out there in the world, you don’t need your own mind producing more and sending it directly to your most sensitive feelings, right? In a kind of masochistic way, beating yourself up can almost turn in to an addiction, a hard cycle to break, but to move on with your life you definitely need to find a way to do so. Here are a few helpful ways to stop being so self-judgmental.
The more you are able to understand your own emotions, the less harsh you will be on yourself. If you can pinpoint exactly why you are feeling a particular emotion at a particular time, then the less likely you will be to just dismiss yourself as a wimp or a cry baby or a psycho. We all feel different things for different reasons, so as soon as you can identify what your personal triggers are, you will be less inclined to beat yourself up.
Try to look at your situation from the perspective of an outsider. The exercise of taking a look at things from as neutral position as possible can be really enlightening and might be able to help you see that what is happening to you might not be your fault, and therefore you shouldn’t be judging yourself so harshly.
Don’t try to ignore your feelings and cast them off as irrelevant. They exist for a reason, and the only way to make yourself feel better is to identify that reason and look for ways to rectify it. Our emotions are there to tell us when something is wrong, so don’t judge yourself when you start to feel them in a big way.
Be the kind of friend to yourself that you would like to be to someone else who was in need. Practise a lot of self care by doing things like getting enough sleep, eating well, allowing yourself to escape in to a good movie or a good book, and most importantly don’t force yourself to feel better before you know you can. Suppressing your true emotions can be a dangerous game to play.
There is no room in your life for people who don’t make you feel good and don’t provide anything of worth in your personal relationship. These people can be toxic presences and can be the catalyst for a lot of self judgment on your behalf. Make the mature to decision to cut them out and you will find your life starting to change for the better.
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