By Alicia • 2 Comments
It can be difficult to break the habit of giving unwanted advice. Generally, a person that gives advice wants to be helpful and has a caring nature. Some people will greatly appreciate your wisdom and advice and others will want nothing to do with it. Some people are easily offended by well-meaning advice and it is nothing to do with you; it is their issue. It is good to break the habit of giving unwanted advice when you are dealing with those people.
One thing that can help you break the habit of giving unwanted advice is to realize some people are over-sensitive. It isn’t you; it’s them. You may not mean to offend them, but you do because of their issues and insecurities. Realizing that they have a problem can help you refrain from giving advice. It almost makes you feel badly for them.
This is a good tip to follow. One way to break the habit of giving unwanted advice is to wait until you are asked for it. Many times, if people don’t ask, then they don’t want it. Think about it. If you really want advice from someone, you ask them.
This is such a big step. It is one you kind of have to grow into. We are each only responsible for ourselves. We are not responsible for others. Sometimes we give advice to others because we feel responsible for them but we really aren’t.
Sometimes there is pleasure in letting others figure things out for themselves. This can be better for them because they learn during that time. It can also be better for us because we realize we don’t have to give advice for things to turn out right. Each of us has to make our own way in this world. It is wonderful if you can help someone along the way, but sometimes people have to go it alone.
When you are in a situation where you feel you may want to give advice, choose to make vague comments instead. Of course, you don’t have to do this with everyone. Some people will welcome your input and if you know they do, you can give it. But if you are with someone who doesn’t welcome your input or you are unsure if they do, make vague comments instead. It can get you through some conversations much more easily.
Boundaries are something to explore if you find yourself giving unwanted advice a lot. It is good to think and learn about boundaries. This means you think about where your responsibility stops and another person’s begins. You also can think about how you can respect the needs of others. They may need less from you than you have been giving and that is okay.
Just because you learn to hold back your advice does not mean that you don’t know a great solution for a problem. You may have very wise counsel that some don’t want to hear. That doesn’t make it any less wise. Appreciate your wisdom within yourself. It’s okay to do that.
I hope these tips can help you to stop giving unwanted advice. Have you been in a situation where you had great advice but it wasn’t appreciated? What have you learned to do in situations like that?