All Women's Talk

The Pain of Losing a Loved One ...

By Christopher

We have all seen the TV award shows where near the end, they remember all the celebrities and notables we lost that year. It’s always shocking to see someone you grew up watching or listening to their music, disappear so suddenly.

But what about when it is someone you know personally? When you lose a loved one it can really tear your heart out. Maybe it’s just the finality of it all. Never laughing with that person again, never sharing Thanksgiving or a friendly visit ever again.

It can be devastating. You may have seen the story recently in the news where a Duck Boat in Branson, Missouri carrying 31 passengers sank in a violent storm. Seventeen died. What made this story so heartbreaking was the fact that, one family, the Coleman family, lost nine family members in that one tragic day. Four were young children. Only two of the family members survived. Somehow one of them gathered enough strength to come on TV and thank everyone for the outpouring of support. It was hard to watch someone suffer like that. The sadness was overwhelming.

When someone dies, we see a gathering of relatives and friends we haven’t seen in years at the service. People are catching up, hugging, and even laughing about old times. But when the music starts to play and the service begins, there is a hush, and the gravity and reality set in.

Tears and sorrow begin to show in the eyes of loved ones. Words are spoken, memories are recalled and the eulogy is given. It is profoundly hard to say goodbye.

Grief has a way of dismantling all of our defenses. Somehow, nothing else seems to matter anymore. We feel out of control. Our emotions can’t accept what just happened. We keep asking why? Why them? Why now? For those who believe, we ask God a million and one questions, screaming to the heavens, but you have to be strong.

If you have recently lost a loved one, or are still mourning from years past, try your best to hold yourself together. Pain has a way of drifting over the hills like the wind, with a little time. Try to remember the good times and how you held each other through the bad. Can a man live forever? Painful as it is, we have to embrace the cycle of life, so we don’t waste it arguing and fighting over foolish things. Your tears mean something. That means there is love billowing in your heart. Just try and hold on, you will get through it. It will be Ok.

Regardless of who you pray to, be encouraged and remember, sorrow painfully, yet quietly and peacefully walks away. Wipe your tears with the few soaked tissues you have left. If you have to, dry your tears on a loved one’s shoulder. Always be mindful of the children who don’t understand why those who passed won’t wake up when they call. Whatever you do, don’t hold it in. If you hold it in, you can’t let it go.

It’s hard, but that is what love ache is. Stay strong.


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