There are definitely some signs you need to set boundaries. When you are in a relationship, especially one that is still relatively new, it can be all-encompassing and almost feel like you can’t remember where your life and personality begins and where your partner’s ends. In the honeymoon phase, this usually isn’t a problem because you are both happy to live in this bubble of new romantic bliss, but there comes a time in every relationship, and this doesn’t just count for romance, where certain boundaries need to be set. Here are five key signs you need to set boundaries in your specific situation.
1. You Take Responsibility for the Feelings of Others
Something that we all have to realise at one point or another is that the only thoughts and feelings we can truly control are our own. If you notice that you are starting to reach beyond your own feelings to try to control and influence the feelings of others, then it might be time to set a boundary that prevents you from continuing to overreach. If you don’t stop yourself from trying to adjust the way that others think or feel, you will never stop fighting an exhausting losing battle, and that's one of the best signs you need to set boundaries.
2. Constant Anger
Feelings of annoyance and anger in a relationship are clear tell-tale signs that a boundary has been crossed and not rectified at some point. If you feel like you are harbouring a lot of resentment towards somebody, then take a second to consider whether they have made you uncomfortable with an action, even in the tiniest way. Your boundaries are important, and if you feel like somebody has crossed them, you need to readjust and reset.
Leading on from the previous point, you might feel a growing form of resentment because the people in your life have started to lean on you for constant support or contact without considering that you too need someone to lean on sometimes. This often happens to strong women who appear to be the ones in charge, but people forget that they aren’t solely these pillars of strength and they cross boundaries in a selfish way to get the result that they want from you. Don’t let this happen - let them know that you are not always open for business.
4. You Allow Bad Behaviour
A lot of women tend to get in a situation with their partner where they allow continued bad behaviour just because they don’t want to rock the boat. You should never suffer in silence in a relationship just because you are scared of what might happen if you make your true feelings known. Your needs and boundaries are just as important as your partner’s, and if he can’t see that he is continually crossing a line by going against your wishes, then it might not be worth continuing with the relationship anyway.
5. Passive Aggressive
It is definitely time to set some new boundaries if you come to realise that the only way you get what you want with a certain person is to be either manipulative or passive-aggressive. Becoming proficient and comfortable in a world of lies and game playing isn’t healthy for you or the person you are manipulating, so if you commit to setting a new boundary where you don’t allow yourself to get into those kinds of situations, then you might find that you become a happier and more caring person as a result.