Life can be really hard, and one of the main reasons for this is that pretty much every single one of us will go through a period of trauma at some point along the way. Whether it is a relatively small thing or a huge, life-changing event, all trauma has the potential to bury deep down inside of you and become something that defines you as a person. Becoming attached to a negative past can have a detrimental impact on any decisions or actions that you try to make in the future. It’s something that you should fight really hard against and seek the help to untangle it. Here are some signs that you are emotionally attached to a negative past.
1. Reluctance in Talking about It
Whatever the memory or experience is that you are holding on to, you find it incredibly difficult to talk about with others if asked. Instead, it stays inside your head like a constant bad secret.
2. Familiar Feelings
Your life has become a sort of procession of identical feelings from one day to the next, ranging from sadness to anxiety to denial to anger, and then back again. Leaving the past unaddressed is causing this.
3. Awkward around Family
If it relates to something in your childhood, then you might find yourself becoming increasingly awkward and closed off when in family situations, almost as if being around them takes you back.
4. Fear of Disapproval
You have a fear of disapproval or being ostracized from your family or friends, almost scared that they are going to see through your guarded walls and identify your issues.
5. Negative to Children
If the negative past comes from childhood and your upbringing, you might find yourself subconsciously treating your own children in the same kinds of ways without meaning to. It’s because it was the only way you ever knew and you still haven’t let go.
6. Parent Spouse
Without realising it at the time, you basically married someone who is exactly like your parent of that sex. This could be to do with repeating unhealthy behaviour patterns from childhood to adulthood.
You pretty much repress all of your emotions, both happy and sad. It results in you being regarded by others as something of a cold fish or mystery.
8. No Impulse Control
You find it hard to control your impulses when you feel them, which can lead to big bust-ups about small things that actually in your head, but are connected to much more serious unresolved issues.
You just never feel as fully free as you think you should. Your life could be picture perfect right now, but if you don’t let go of your negative past, it will always feel like something is holding you back.
10. Repeat Mistakes
You never seem to be able to learn from your mistakes, destined to repeat the same things again and again because your attachment to your negative past in inhibiting personal growth.