Did you know you have more influence than you think?? I know, some of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, "me?" We're here to tell you that you DO. Using easy psychological tricks can help you in many social situations, and social situations happen basically every day. Understanding social behavior and how it influences the interactions around us is key to being able to take advantage of opportunities and influence people. We all want to be that confident person in the room. We all want to be comfortable in social situations, whatever they might be. These are easy things to pay attention to that will make a difference in the long run. That's why they're called hacks, after all.
1. Note the Eye Color of the Person You're Talking to
When you first meet people, try to notice their eye color while also smiling at them. It might be because you look for a second or two longer, but all I can tell you is that people really respond to it.
2. Don't Forget to Look at Their Feet
Pay attention to people's feet. If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don’t want you to join in the conversation. Similarly, if you are in a conversation with a coworker who you think is paying attention to you and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, they want the conversation to end.
3. Start Small and Get Bigger to Achieve Commitment
Foot-in-the-door phenomenon. People are more likely to agree to do a task for you if you ask them to do something simpler first. (Gradual commitment makes people think you like them.)
4. Go Big and then Be Reasonable
Alternatively, you ask them to do an unreasonable task and they’ll say no. So then you should ask for a more reasonable task and they will be more likely to agree.
5. Ben FRanklin's Theory of Cognitive Dissonance
If you ask someone to do you a small favor, cognitive dissonance will make them believe that because they did that favor, they must like you. (Ben Franklin)
6. Be Patient for the Answer
If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer just wait. If you stay silent and keep eye contact they will usually continue talking.
7. Chewing Gum is Helpful
Chew gum when you’re approaching a situation that would make you nervous. I can’t remember where I heard it, but apparently if we are ‘eating’ something in our brains trip and it reasons ‘I would not be eating if I were in danger. So I’m not in danger.' This has helped to calm me a few times.
8. How to Avoid Bumping into People
Avoid the sidewalk shuffle by looking intently over the person’s shoulder or between people’s heads in a group. Your gaze shows them where you’re going. They’ll drift toward the opposing side and create a gap to avoid you.
9. Teaching Also Equals Learning
When you’re studying/learning something new, teach a friend how to do it. Let them ask questions. If you’re able to teach something well, you understand it.
10. It's Emotions That Count Not Hearing
People will remember not what you said, but how you made them feel.
11. Own Your Psychological State
Alter your psychological state before an interview or important meeting. Tell yourself “I’ve known these people all my life. We’re old friends catching up. I can’t wait to see them." Visualize the experience of shaking hands, making eye contact, and having smooth conversation. What things can you not to wait to tell them? Hold an open pose, stand with your legs apart, hands on your hips, and shoulders back while doing this and SMILE. This may sound cliche, but you are in charge of your own psychological state and the power of suggestion is strong.
12. Anticipate a Meeting
If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you. It doesn’t always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen next time.
13. Calmness Wins the Day
My personal favorite is when people are angry at me; if I stay calm it’ll get them even angrier, and be ashamed about it after.
14. Keep Your Hands Warm
If you have a warm hand when you shake somebody’s hand, you immediately become a more desirable person to get along with.
15. Be Aware of a Person's Self Image
People have a certain image of themselves and will fight tooth and nail to cling to it. Use this information wisely. You can make people dislike you by attacking their self-image.
16. False Attribution of Arousal
When you take somebody out on a first date, take them somewhere exciting that will get their heart beating such as a roller coaster or horror film. This gets their adrenaline up. It makes them think they enjoy spending time with you rather than the activity.
17. Confidence Always Helps
The key to confidence is walking into a room and assume that everyone already likes you.
18. Stress = Bravery
The physical effects of stress (increased breathing rate, heart rate etc.) mirror identically the physical effects of courage. So when you’re feeling stress from any situation immediately reframe it: your body is getting ready to something courageous, it’s not feeling stress. A great example of cognitive reframing, researchers found that you will do better when you appraise a stressful situation as a challenge and not a threat
19. Remember the Names
Refer to people you’ve just met by their name. People loving being referred to by their name and it will establish a sense of trust and friendship right away.
20. Smile! Smile! Smile!
If you make the biggest smile you can, you will automatically feel happier
21. Rise and Shine. Ignore the Snooze Button
The moment your alarm wakes you up, immediately react by sitting up, pump your fists and shout “YEAH!”
22. Choice = Sense of Control
Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control. For instance, when I want him to put his shoes on I will say,”Do you want to put on your Star Wars shoes or your shark shoes?”
23. Watch That Personal Space Invasion
People are extraordinarily aware of their sense of touch. If someone 'accidentally’ rests their knee on yours, they may not act like they realize it, but they definitely know that it's there.
You can practice #20 right now. It works, it really does. If you found these tips helpful, share them with others.