By Alison • 8 Comments
Do you say self-deprecating things about yourself? Plenty of us do, and it's time we stopped. We wouldn't be as rude to other people as we are about ourselves, yet we criticise our looks, abilities and achievements. So be wary of saying any of the following things - they're phrases you should never use about yourself …
If you're always criticising your own body, then stop, especially if you compare yourself unfavourably to others. Start cultivating a healthier body image instead. You probably don't have fat legs or a big butt, whatever you think. And if you really do need to lose some weight for the sake of your health, get working on it. But don't be rude about your own body.
Do you think you don't deserve a promotion, success in life, or a partner? Stop thinking you're not good enough. Your boss thinks you deserved that promotion, you've earned your success, and your partner loves you. Of course you're a worthwhile person who deserves what they have!
You might tell someone not to worry about you for the best of reasons; not wanting them to be anxious. But of course they're going to worry about you - they care about you! Telling someone not to worry suggests that you're not worth caring about, so don't be a martyr and imply that you're not.
No they couldn't! Other people might have been able to produce a similar achievement, or one of equal merit, but they couldn't do exactly what you've done. That's your achievement, so be proud of it. We Brits are particularly good at doing down our own successes and making out they're nothing at all. So if you find yourself doing that, start being proud of yourself instead.
Okay, stop with the negative comparisons! Maybe you won't be as wealthy or successful as someone else. We can't all be as rich as Bill Gates. But money really isn't everything, and there are other things that are just as important (or more so) than material success. And being negative about yourself is setting yourself up for unhappiness.
Look, we all make mistakes. Remind yourself that you're going to get things wrong sometimes. Nobody's perfect! So don't beat yourself up about what you've got wrong in the past. You can't change things that have already happened, so concentrate on getting things right in the future.
If you don't have any faith in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to? Sometimes it's better to try and fail than never try at all. If you're asked to do something that you're not confident about, work out how you can increase your chances of success, asking for help and advice if necessary. You might just be surprised at what you can achieve if you try.
So have more faith in yourself, and stop saying these self-deprecating things! If you catch yourself being critical, imagine saying it about someone else - it wouldn't seem right, would it? Being kinder about yourself doesn't mean that you're being big-headed, but rather more positive. What's the worst message you give yourself?