How do You Cope when You Can't Be Close to Your Mom? ...

Alicia

Sometimes a few helpful pieces of advice can make a world of difference in your life. If you’re in a situation where you can’t be close to your mom, these are some helpful pieces of advice on how to deal. You may not be able to be close to your mom because she’s passed away or it may be because your relationship is less than ideal. Either way, finding ways to cope are important.

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1

Accept Your Relationship as It is

First up in the helpful pieces of advice is to accept your relationship as it is with your mom. If you’ve done all you can to improve your relationship, acceptance is the next step. Your conscience is clear. Acceptance offers you freedom to move on. This’s a good thing.

2

Find a Mentor

If you can’t be close to your mom because she’s passed away or it just isn’t possible, you need to find a mentor. Basically you need someone who has love, compassion and wisdom to offer you. Many times a mentor is somewhat older. This person can be a bit of a mother figure to you. They’ll never be your mom but they can help fill in those gaps.

3

Give Yourself Credit

It isn’t easy when you’ve lost your mom or you can’t be close to her. You don’t have the advantage of having a mom to support and advise you. But you know what? You’ve probably still done great for yourself. It’s good to take a look in the mirror and realize what a wonderful person you’ve turned out to be anyway.

4

Focus on the Blessings in Your Life

It’s all too easy to focus on not having a mom to be close to. But it’s good to shift your focus. Think about what you do have. Maybe you have great friends, an amazing job or a devoted husband and precious children. Your life isn’t empty without a mom to be close to. She’s only one part of it.

5

Find Healthy Boundaries

If your mom is still in the picture but you can’t be close to her, it’s good to decide on some healthy boundaries. You need them in place to protect yourself if she’s unkind or abusive to you. Maybe you can handle seeing her on a few occasions a year. Perhaps it’s better if you email than call. Think about what you can reasonably handle and build your boundaries from there.

Famous Quotes

Silence at the proper season is wisdom, and better than any speech.

Plutarch
6

Determine to do Better

If you have a daughter of your own and your relationship with your mom has been difficult, you may worry about your relationship with your daughter. You don’t have to repeat the cycle. Chances are high that you won’t. If you make a decision to learn from your relationship with your mom then you can end up having an amazing relationship with your own daughter. This’s a way something good can come from something bad.

7

Know Your Worth

If your mom has made you feel that you’re unimportant, you need to reprogram your mind. Those things are not true of anyone. Each individual matters and has wonderful qualities to them. Tell yourself that you’re valuable as many times as you need to until you believe it. If you’ve done your best to have a relationship with your mom and it just isn’t possible, then know she’s the one missing out.

These are 7 pieces of advice when you can’t be close to your mom. Which piece of advice is most helpful to you? I’d love to hear from you.

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

This was helpful in that it reminded me of my sister. She refuses to have a relationship with me, and neither I nor my family knows why. I am trying to raise my kids to all be close to one another and lean on my friends for support instead of expecting it from my sister. Her rejection has been so hurtful.

Thank you so much. This article was so helpful. I don't know why my mother tells me hurtful things but some distance from her and knowing my worth is helping me.

This article came at the perfect time for me. I'm halfway across the world from my mom, and it has affected our relationship. Although it may sound rude to some people, it helps to know that there are others like me whose relationship is strained with their own mom. Like Kel32 said as well, my sisterly relationship has been in the gutter and I don't expect it to change anymore... It is what it is. Thank you so much for the wise words 😊

omg thank you so much for this article, just what i wanted. my mother in law is my mom in my eyes and im sure in hers too, shes been a mother to me then my real one has in her entire life.

Such a nice article. Thanks!

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