Show off Friends? How to Deal with One-upmanship ...

By Neecey

Are you fed up of your friend always doing better than you or having more than you? No matter your achievement, she always has to trump it. Every little thing you are proud of having or achieving, she just has to have something better or do it better. As much as you may love her, a show off friend can soon become no friend at all. There are ways to deal with one-upmanship – here’s how:

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1

Interrupt Her when She is Talking

If your friend is a complete show-off and you do not want to engage or encourage her, then be rude. Interrupt her. It is really annoying because you are stealing her thunder. As she boasts about how the ants in her house where bigger than anything she has ever seen, interrupt her with a story about the anteater you saw on YouTube that was caught swimming in a local outdoor pool.

UPD:

Interrupting can be effective, but always gauge the situation first—doing so might make her pause and realize that she's not the only one with an interesting story to tell. However, it's a delicate balance between making your point and being outright disrespectful. If you're aiming to gently nudge the conversation into a more inclusive direction, try interjecting with "Oh, that reminds me of something similar I came across," before diving into your own anecdote. It's a subtler way to steer the spotlight without completely disregarding her narrative. Just remember, the goal isn't to outdo but to share the stage.

2

Start a Side Conversation Quietly

This is also very annoying for “toppers.” As she is boasting away about how hers is bigger, better and sexier than somebody else’s, lean over to someone on your left or right and start a quiet conversation. It is not intentionally rude, but it will annoy the person that is doing all the boasting.

UPD:

Engaging someone else in an aside sets a subtle boundary, signaling that the one-upper's narrative isn't monopolizing your attention. Choose topics tangential to the braggart's spiel, such as plans for the weekend or a new restaurant you’ve been meaning to try. The key is to maintain a delicate balance: your interjection should be discreet enough to avoid open confrontation, yet evident enough to prick the bubble of the boastful monologue. This tactic gently asserts that the conversational stage is shared, rather than a solo platform for grandiosity.

3

Yawn

If you let out a big yawn whilst the person is talking, it lets them know that they are boring and that you are bored. Make a playful apology and say you had a late night. If you are lucky, your yawn will trigger that natural reaction in people to have a yawn and they will do a Mexican yawn around the room. You are probably thinking about yawning now aren’t you?

4

Grow up and Deal with It

Understand that some people are just jerks and you kind of have to live with it. Get out of their presence, avoid them, or cut them out of your life if you can. Otherwise, just deal with it. Let the baby have her bottle.

5

Patronize the Very Boastful

This is still in the mean territory, but they are the ones with the low self-esteem, so patronize the person doing the boasting. “That is very good for you,” is a good one, or “It’s been a long time since you bought something nice,” is another.

Famous Quotes

If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.

Laozi
6

Give Her No Attention

You can passively ignore people if you are in a group. Do not engage and give her no attention. Let the other people in the group plump her ego and reward her for having or doing what she does

7

Just Listen and Switch off

Maybe you don’t want to be rude, and maybe you don’t want to upset the person that is talking. If this is the case, simply listen and reply at the right moments, but switch off your brain.

This is a difficult subject if the annoying person is a good friend, you might actually consider broaching the issue with her, letting her know how you feel. On the other hand, if she needs to justify her existence by having her friends say nice things, then why not do it for her. You are not going to fix her in any way, so let her feel a little better about herself.

Your actions really depend on how much the issue bothers you. Have you got any friends who constantly try to outdo you?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

This is one of the first articles I have genuinely hated, it's just plain rude. I like coming here cus it gives sound advice not advice on being rude to a friend

The first few listed are unnecessarily rude.

I these are all a bit immature except maybe 4. They make you just a rude as the friend and the competition never gets resolved. Maybe just stop hanging out. Nothing wrong with moving on.

A mexican yawn?? What exactly is a "Mexican yawn"?

I honestly don't know what to say? I do agree it was quite rude. Probably, Just moving on? would be my choice. 1 and 3 is rlly quite childish in my opinion. Yawning or interrupting?! her is rude and is a bit too far.

You need to do something about friends that try to copy everything you do

I have a friend who always turns every conversation into a conversation about her. I've started side conversations when she starts talking. I've also excused myself and gone for a bathroom break or grab a drink.

These are rude and its better to cut off the friendship than to jab at her with little gestures like these.

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