Attachment leads to suffering and there are some reasons to not get attached to connections.
One of the most significant and profound occurrences that can be experienced on earth are the connections you make with another human being. Sometimes itโs a quick exchange and other times it is a timeless friendship, a deeper understanding. Whatever the case, it is important to not become attached to those connections. Iโve learned people come and go and will continue to do so for as long as you live. Itโs a morbid thought and quite literal when you add the death factor to the equation but nonetheless, it is a reality we must have the capacity to cope with. Itโs undoubtedly human nature to want to connect with another. Sometimes we just go about it all wrong because itโs not understood what it really means to connect. Sometimes it can be recognized by a feeling, a smile, or glance. But you know when it happens every time it does. Sometimes it is mutual and sometimes it is not.
Weโve all had those relationships in which these instances have emerged. One instance is that maybe you are so afraid to lose someone you think somehow you can control the outcome, thus control the other person. The thought of losing them is equivalent to the aura of death. It resembles not only a physical death but also an emotional death of an idea and all the hopes and love you had shared. It may feel like a waste and you may feel you need to cash in on all that time you spent on them. This is selfish thinking. You cannot control another person no matter how much you want them to make things easier for you.
Iโve learned that those connections are the one thing in life that let you know you are not alone and that there is meaning behind all the losing and pain. The pain is associated with attachment in which all these ideas you held so tightly arenโt manifesting into reality. Itโs disappointing but Iโve learned that it is always okay in the end. Somehow I always manage to move forward trying to do better. Iโve learned that real love for a person comes when you can let go and trust that things happen as they should. Iโve learned to let go no matter how much it hurts to do so.
Iโve learned I never really loved.
Iโve learned to enjoy the time you have with the people you connect with and move forward with anticipation for the next meeting while maintaining the knowledge that people come and go. I once learned that connections are all we have in this world that really mean anything, then I realized you must not get attached to those connections. The best you can do is give all you can while in the moment and receive as well. Receiving is giving. You cannot give anything without being open to receiving, whether it is love, friendship, or an acquaintance.
Sometimes I think it is healthier to leave a personโs company and not miss them so much rather than miss them the whole time. I think that is saying you are missing something in yourself that only the person you are missing can fill. If you are not missing anything internally there wouldnโt be a reason to miss someone so much as you would trust that when you meet again things start right back up where they left off. And it can happen without feeling upset and lonely when they arenโt around. Our memories should suffice in order to crave any โmissingโ that we may have. Think about all the reasons the person makes you happy, then smile and move on with your day.
It all will become a memory, anyway.
Overall, Iโve learned that the connections we make with others is all we have but the important thing to learn is not to get attached to these connections. That is key because attachment leads to suffering and pain. Iโve learned when you say I love you and hold attachments, that is not really love. The way you really love someone is if you can just as easily let them go as love them. You cannot control others or the choices they make. If you truly love someone youโll know because even though you miss them like hell, youโre okay with just letting it be because those moments of connection are enough to get you by. Iโve learned that itโs not healthy to miss someone so much and to place a person on a pedestal with illusions and projections as to how you want them to be. Iโve learned I always see the best in people and sometimes they canโt live up to that all the time. Itโs easy to project those feelings onto others but all it does is tear down your self-worth. It can tear away at your insides and make you feel hollow. It can eat away at you and make you feel that person took something of yours like your will to live. But if you gave it away so easily and freely, you can get it back. Those are the reasons to not get attached to connections.
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